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Hp Jokes

My HP printer died today

It was like a Brother to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an American man who lived in Thailand and when he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom the entire time.

Then he returned to America and one morning he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis

Freaked out, he went to the doctor. The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests." So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 day...

How many laptops does HP make?

A pavilion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I really don't get all the love for the HP books...

I've read them multiple times, but still my printer won't fucking work.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

My friend HP was mad at me for drinking an IPA,

It turns out he does not lovecraft beer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently HP fucked up on my order of a Laserjet

they've sent me a fucking printer instead!

HP Lovecraft walks into a barn...

...A horse looks at him and says, "Why the long face?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do most printers break so easily?

Shitty HP

How do you tell a gamer from a car mechanic?

Ask them what HP means.

LONG : An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.



Looking at the shiny car ,the old man asks the doctor "What ya driving there sonny?

The doctor replies, “1500+hp Porsche. It cost half a million dollars!


'Why does it cost so much?' Says the old man.


'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' state...

A paladin and a warrior go into a mage's electronics store to buy computers.

The paladin asks for a Dell computer. The mage directs him to aisle five. The warrior asks for a Hewlett-Packard. The mage says "I'm all out of HP." The mage dies.

If you were working at Hewlett Packard and you sprinted out of the building...

...would you die because you ran out of HP?

A group of adventurers embarks on a quest

"DragonFlameKing", who is the highest level in the party, gathers the others before they begin the quest to discuss strategies and check their supplies.

-Alright, gear and equipments look fine so hear me out for a little bit. This quest is not too demanding but it's still hard. I am a Juggern...

A blonde girl asked her boyfriend...

... If he knows how to repair laptops, he said yes and asked her what brand laptop she has, she said that it's a dy brand, he told that he never heard of the brand and asked her to send a picture of the laptop, she took the picture and sent it to him, he looked at it and he realised that was an upsi...

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