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Cc Jokes

Read in "Playboy", told by CC, herself, on "the Tonight Show"

Cindy Crawford and a crewman survive her yacht sinking and make their way to a deserted island. There's fresh water and plenty of fruit to eat, so they settle in to wait for rescue. A few weeks go by and Cindy's feeling a "need". She asks the crewman for help and he's happy to oblige.

This...

The Pastor of the local church calls on the congregation for volunteers for Bible sales....

A gentleman with a severe stutter approaches the pastor after Sunday service.

"I-i-i... I-i-id like to v-v-v-v-vol-vol-vo-volunteer to s-s-s-se-sell b-b-b-bi-b-bibles, f-fff-f-f-fa-fa-father..."

"That would be wonderful, my son. We'll start you with one box. Please go door to door thr...

I asked my Spanish colleague if he could include me on an email

He replied, “CC”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to a recent survey of Chefs, about 82% of them are part of the LGBT community.

Interestingly most of them were pansexual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's ego is so big...

Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.

-Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump

Who is the patron saint of emails?

St Francis of a CC

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this sick elderly couple celebrating their anniversary

The husband was very old and weak, and spoke with a stutter. The wife had a severe case of Parkinson's disease and was confined to a wheelchair, as she was constantly shaking uncontrollably.

They eat a nice dinner at a hotel and decide to get a room. The bellman follows them up to the hotel a...

I told my dad "Look, I got a B in reading!"

He said "That's a D you idiot."

-Rocky Laporte

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/m25nl8/comedy-central-presents-birthday

Dark Matter is like the EA DLC of the Universe

95% of the content hidden away from the main game without first lots of grinding and getting a sense of pride and accomplishment to unlock it

cc r/outside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A stuttering man

So one man decided to go to the doctors one day for his horrible stuttering problem he had since puberty. He goes into the office and gets checked out by the doctor, the doctor says, "I know whats wrong, your penis is so big its pulling on your vocal chords making you stutter." So the man and doctor...

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..

One day, the horse became very ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: "Well, your horse has a virus.
He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him to sleep."

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New guys in town walks into a bar.....

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."

"What are the three tests?" asks the man
<...

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