What do Kevin McCallister and Chris Watts have in common?

They both made their families disappear.

My 3 watts blue laser pointer finally arrived and I played with it over the weekend.

I can no longer see why people say these devices were so dangerous.

A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...

“Got any 2 watt bulbs?”

“For what?”

“That’ll do I’ll take two.”

“Two what?”

“I thought you didn’t have any.”

“Any what?”

“Ok then!”

Watt's my name

- Hello, are you there?
- Yes. Who are you, please?
- I'm Watt.
- What's your name?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, what's your name?
- My name is John Watt.
- John what?
- Yes, are you James?
- No, I'm Knott.
- Will you tell me your name then?
- Will ...

Dumbledore : "You are unit of power, Harry."

Harry: "I'm a watt?"

Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs?

Sales Rep: For what? 

Customer: No, two. 

Sales Rep: Two what? 

Customer: Yes. 

Sales Rep: No.

Watt?

Kevin is working on a assignment and forgot what the name was for the messurement unit of electricity. He turns to he his classmate and ask him “can I ask you something”, his classmate answers “yeah, watt is it?”, kevin responds with “yeah I think it is”

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

Electrician gets home late...

Electrician didn't get home until after 2am. His wife asked "Wire you insulate?" He replied, "Watts it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?"

My friend was explaining electricity to me,

but I was like, ‘Watt?’

A man once advised me to not waste electricity. "Using more power results in more electricity bills"

I told myself,



***Watt good advice***

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual reunion of all time greats.......

\* Newton said he'd drop in.
\* Socrates said he'd think about it.
\* Ohm resisted the idea.
\* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
\* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
\* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
\* Volta was electrified at the prospe...

Famous people and their mothers

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day, but to be perfectly honest, it wasn't all that relaxing. In fact, my eyes are in a lot of pain right now...

I did however, managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."

For safety, if you're turning a power supply on at work, just say hey

Watts going on

My new 1000 watt sound system is great!

I can control the volume of my neighbor's banging on my door.

Electro finally made it to the party

He said watts happening!

What did the energy say?

Watt the heck!

With great power comes great electricity bill

Watt a powerful message

I had a female Physics teacher in my school.

One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"

"That's watt", she said.

What is the different between the original steam engine and the improved one

*Watt

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

...

Why do so many tyrants try to seize power?

Because when they heard: "Watt is the meaning of life", they didn't think it was a question.

My wife is divorcing me because I’m obsessed with Football coaching.

In my defence, I have J.J.Watt, Michael Bennett, and Richard Sherman.

I just electrocuted myself

How do you current-ly feel?

I'm kind of shocked

Watt, I didn't hear you

I said it hertz a lot

I love helping blind people in my spare time.

Especially since I got my new 3 watts laser pointer.

My electricity bill was running suspiciously high

Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.

What did the electrical engineer say to the other electrical engineer?

I don’t know, watt?

An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.

He died before he even knew watts up.

Currently.

Currently, it's better to be direct than to alternate between weak lines or else she might get confused and ask watt you doing.

The Windmill, the Coal Plant, and Geothermal Station Formed a Band

The Windmill, the Coal Plant, and Geothermal Station Formed the Band "Earth, Wind, and Fire". Their songs start off slow but eventually build in Energy. They would have been Electric too if it wasn't for their Dam manager always holding them back. He was Resistant to change and couldn't see the Pote...

I just got electrocuted.

It hertz so bad, Watt do I do?

Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs?

Watts the difference!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Proof that Santa doesn’t exists

There are about 2 billion children on earth. But Santa does not have to visit Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Buddhists, which reduces the number to 15% or 378 million. Thus, with a world average of 3.5 children per household, there are 108 million households to visit if we can assume that there are at le...

Wich item asks the most questions in a hardware store?

The 60 watt bulb

Samuel L. Jackson is obsessed with the SI unit of power.

He keeps telling me to say watt again.

Los Angeles announced plans to lease 288 all-electric police cars. Do you know where they'll use them?

In Watts.

I'll see myself out now.

Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids: What did one lightbulb to say to the other?

Watts up?

Teacher to a sleepy kid in class: Who invented the Steam engine?

Student trying to act awake: What sir?

Teacher : Correct, James Watt invented the steam engine.


[not mine, I heard it a few years ago, just had this in my thought train]

Did you hear how the deaf electrician asked his friend to repeat what he said?

Watt?

They changed the power of my favourite light bulbs

And they're just not watt they used to be

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