For thousands of years two powerful Chinese families, the Wong's and the Lee's, have been at war. Their battles have become history. Their members have become legends. Through all the years they've fought eachother, they have become more powerful than any other family in history.

Their constant quarrels and need to outperform eachother has caused them to form the basis of the modern world. When the Wong's invented toilet paper, the Lee's went on to invent the bidet. When the Lee's discovered how to make iron weapons, the Wong's spent years discovering the secrets of steel....

What do you get when you add a line between heroes?

Herpes

The biggest tragedy in Star Wars is their lack of information on one of their greatest unsung heroes.

I mean, he brought the Rebels the plans for the second Death Star before he died, but that is all we know about Manny Bothans.

Who are two super heroes that lost their Vision?

Daredevil and Wanda



My ten year old son got my husband and me.

Anti-vaxxers are heroes

They prevent diseases from going extinct.

What do action heroes do when they die?

They drop kick the bucket.

John and his girlfriend Mary decide to become bank-robbers.

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ...

All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors...

Because heroes never dye.

Why are there no vegan DC heroes?

Because they are afraid of rotten tomatoes.

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

Mounted police unit got two new horses

Policemen assigned to them are unsure how they'll be able to tell them apart and as such which policeman gets to ride which horse. They debate various ways to distinguish them but none are satisfactory. Then one realizes they can simply cut off the tail on one and voila! a distinguishing mark. So th...

Batman and Robin get ready for patrol

Batman: You ready Robin?

Robin: I'm not sure about this costume Batman. It's so bright and red. And why do I have to wear a silly yellow cape?

Batman: Well, we're superheroes Robin. We got to dress the part.

Robin: I'm still not sure about this Batman. I mean, you aren't dressed...

All heroes don't wear masks

But the one that killed Kim Jong Un did

As kids we loved the heroes,

As adults we understood the villains.

The internet is so full of people making up fake stories for fake internet points that no one is giving any credit to the real heroes anymore...

Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon

The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.



The dungeon's architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. Th...

Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held ...

Where does Princess Zelda find her heroes?

Linkedin.

3 war heroes come back from 'nam...

An officer approaches the heroes and says "For your valiant effort and heroic action i will give you a monetary reward. Pick 2 points on your body i will measure the distance between the points and give you $10 for every inch between them."

The first man thinks hard then says "i choose the ti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you think heaven is gonna be boring remember that all your love ones and heroes are gonna be there

Like the guy who killed hitler a personal favourite of mine

The Make-A-Wish foundation flys hundreds of kids around the world for free and they are called heroes.

But when Jeffery Epstein does it, he’s called a monster and murdered.

They say you should never meet your heroes.

Guess dad found out he's my hero.

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

After Infinity War, you know what Earth's group of heroes should be called?

The Half-Vengers.

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor....

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

Russian kids were writing an essay about their heroes....

..... The title was: "Who is your hero and why Stalin?"

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment?

[removed]

Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."

Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been ...

Why are Americans so bad at MOBA games (League of Legends, Dota, Heroes of the storm, etc.)?

They can't defend towers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meanwhile at the airport...

Jimmy and Jason are both workers at the Atlanta airport, typically working outside to re-fuel the planes after they land. One day, a very thick fog rolls in grounding all of the planes. Jimmy and Jason are bored out of their minds with nothing to do.

"I'm really bored," says Jimmy. "I wish...

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