Heroes Jokes

Because heroes never dye.

They're called "The Ex-Men".

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

They prevent diseases from going extinct.

Imagine how hard it must be to sell someone a Dutch oven.

Most politicians act like heroes to get elected and comedians while in office.

Because they are afraid of rotten tomatoes.

Wonder-pants!

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held ... read more

Herpes

They drop kick the bucket.

As adults we understood the villains.

Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano

An officer approaches the heroes and says "For your valiant effort and heroic action i will give you a monetary reward. Pick 2 points on your body i will measure the distance between the points and give you $10 for every inch between them."

The first man thinks hard then says "i choose the ti... read more

Linkedin.

I mean, he brought the Rebels the plans for the second Death Star before he died, but that is all we know about Manny Bothans.

..... The title was: "Who is your hero and why Stalin?"

Guess dad found out he's my hero.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
... read more

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ... read more

But I'm the only one who cried when I dropped my deli sandwich

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Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

The Half-Vengers.

are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."

Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been ... read more