What happened when the skinny butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

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NSFW: On a dare, I stuck my dick in the meat grinder at work and and then I got fired...

...And she got fired too

Have you heard about the man who recently died working at the glasses factory?

Apparently he fell right into the glass grinder, making a spectacle of himself.

Downloaded that ap where you post your location when you're drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it's called Grinder.

The real plus is that I haven't paid for a single cup yet!

The fellas around here are just so friendly.

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What do you call a stripper who works with amputees?

A stump grinder

Did you hear about the optician who fell into the lens grinder?

Yeah, he made a spectacle of himself.

I sued a department store for selling me a broken coffee grinder.

I lost the case; the courts told me I had no grounds.

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The organ grinder

On a hot day an organ grinder comes into a bar with his monkey and orders a beer. As the organ grinder is sipping his beer, the monkey runs down the bar, squats over a martini, and dips his balls in to cool off.

The guy with the martini shoos the monkey away and orders another martini.
...

What do you get when you throw ungrateful kids in to a meat grinder?

Bratwurst

What’s the difference between tinder and grinder?

On Grinder they don’t beat around the bush.

Did anyone catch the full story on that woman who got murdered in a meat grinder?

I only heard bits and pieces.

Why'd the apple jump in the grinder?

He was suicider.

Pepper

I bought a womble pepper grinder for my mum today, but she keeps complaining that the pepper is either underground or overground.

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A man was released from prison after a 40-year sentence.

After he checked into his economy hotel, he called an escort service and told them he wanted 2 of their best girls. He immediately went down to the pharmacy and asked for a bottle of Viagra and the pharmacist told him to only take one pill. To the pharmacist's dismay, he immediately opened the bottl...

A woman walks into a butcher shop...

"Excuse me," she says. "But I bought these sausages here yesterday and, well, the middle is fine, but both ends are made of sawdust."

The butcher shrugs. "Sometimes it's hard to make ends meat."

\----------------------

The very next day, the butcher is feeling overwhelmed. He a...

Two identical twins that were separated at birth were asked how they reunited

Well, one said, “we met online and immediately noticed many physical similarities”

The other chimed in “ we both mentioned in our bio how we never actually met our parents”

“It was quite a strange coincidence that we met, huh”

“Yeah, grinder is a wonder, isn’t it?”

Wife at work calls her husband

W: Where are you?
H: At home with the kids, darling.
W: Run the mixer for me.
H: Why, OK... Ghhhhiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr
W: KThxbai

Again next day
W: Where are you?
H: At home baby.
W: Sound the mixer.
H: Huh, Ggghhhiiiierrrrrrrr

This time the wife gives a surprise vi...

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

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This guy walks into a Mercedes agency and asks for the top executive model.

Money is not an issue, but the car has to have everything installed. And he means EVERYTHING he is not joking. The company goes and install usb sockets for each passenger, a blue tooth operated coffee machine (with proper grinder, not that bullshit with capsules), a GPS tracking got each wheel and t...

The butcher

Once there was a man in a small town who decided that he wanted to be a butcher, so he bought a small store and started his own butcher shop. It was a very modest store, consisting of only a couple display cabinets, a meat grinder, and a few shelves in the refrigerator. This man quickly became known...

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder

(Thanks, Ellen)

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