UPJOKE
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I read in a medical journal that sniffing Rosemary will improve your immunity during this rainy season...

But my colleague is not understanding when I do this and now she’s calling the security...

What Johnny Depp needs is not a vaccine…

He needs Heard Immunity.

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Wise words and thoughts.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.

My tole...

Johnny Depp would be in a much better position if it wasn't for anti-vaxxers.

If it wasn't for them we would all have heard immunity by now.

I have a joke on immunity...

but you have probably herd it.

Your momma's so fat

She achieved herd immunity by herself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We might eventually get herd immunity

But what about hoard immunity?

So a man goes to his doctor and asks....

Patient... doctor does this provide immunity? Doctor.... only for the manufacturer

Herd Immunity’s Victory

Hong Kong showed the world how to actively contain the virus.

Italy showed the world how one fails to contain the virus.

India showed the world how anybody can contain the virus.

Boris Johnson showed the world that the virus does not need to be contained.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend told me yesterday that if you eat cow feces you grow an immunity to cancer

But that's bull shit

There's a dog walking in the jungle.

Being a dog, he has amazing hearing, and heard a leopard sneaking up on him. He found a bone and starts chewing on it and remarks rather loudly "that was a tasty leopard, I wonder if there's anymore around here!" The leopard, startled by the comment, leaves in a hurry. Meanwhile up in the trees, a m...

No one ever listens to me about vaccines.

I have heard immunity.

Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19...

I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.

Yo mama is so fat

When she took the vaccine she got herd immunity

A serial killer started kidnapping and killing all female cousins of his mother & father.

When arrested and asked for reasons, he said, “I just heard that you need Aunty-bodies to build immunity against Covid.”

How did the cowboy survive the stampede?

He had herd immunity.

Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to spend Christmas together?

Because they have herd immunity.

With the news about Johnny Depp and Aquaman 2, there's a sign the pandemic is almost over.

They've reached Heard immunity.

Not mine found it somewhere

A master smuggler bragged to border control that he was about to start smuggling but they wouldn't be able to catch him.
Soon, he crosses the border on a donkey.
The guards diligently and thoroughly search him and the donkey, but come up empty.
The smuggler smiles and passes.
The...

I figured out why President Trump thinks he doesn’t have to wear a mask to protect himself from viruses.

Somebody told him he had diplomatic immunity.

Why is Jonny Depp’s second wife no longer suing him?

In the last couple months he developed Heard Immunity

Why dont ambassadors get sick?

Diplomatic immunity

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half >!the population of the planet dead thanks to anti-vaxx morons actively working towards deleting herd immunity.!<

If a foreign diplomat recovers from COVID-19...

Does he have diplomatic immunity?

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NSFW Possible Coronavirus Inoculant Found

Experts suggest that a hormone found in ordinary semen may, if consumed in sufficient quantities over time, produce a gradual immunity buildup to the Covid19 virus.

Source: Am expert

Three men are sitting in a hospital room. The first asks the second how he contracted COVID19.

He replies, "Because I support Boris Johnson's herd immunity."

The first man responds "But I am here because I attended a protest against Boris Johnson's herd immunity!"

They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the back, and ask him how he contracted the virus.
...

The Biology Exam.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.

The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

However, he wrote:

1) I...

Wonder why none of the world leaders have coronavirus?

They all have diplomatic immunity.

The Princess Bride is bull

When Wesley spends five years building up an immunity to iocane powder, it's romantic and we should idolize him.

But when I do it with rum, I'm an "alcoholic who needs to pay his goddamn child support."

In Greek mythology, Chiron was known for his knowledge and skill with medicine

One could even call him the Centaur for Disease Control.

He was a big believer in herd immunity.

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