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Gyms Jokes

Vaginas are like gyms.

I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't.

The gyms must remain open

The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press

Why are there no haunted gyms?

All the ghosts have been exercised

A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions

So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do gyms and prisons have in common?

They're both full of ripped assholes.

Hair Salons, Tanning Salons, Gyms, Spas, The Clinique Counter...

All closed.

It's getting ugly out there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

I want to start running twenty four-hour gyms

And they’ll all be open 11-3 daily

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to the gym for the new year

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Now that it's the new year I'm sick of all the gym rats bitching and moaning about all us newbies taking up space in their gyms," the guy complains to the bartender. "We didn't complain when they came to use our pubs in December."

I see a lot of gyms doing challenges to climb 110 flights of stairs this week.

Shouldn't they be racing down?

Oh well, I guess no one is going to beat 9.6 seconds.

Why do gyms produce the best Rebels?

Because of all the resistance training

Some gyms are open 24 hours now. If you see me at the gym at 3am...

It's because I'm trapped under a weight

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