I saw on this girl's dating profile that she's a "health and fitness junkie." So that's cool...

We've got one of those three things in common.

My fitness has been great these past years despite the COVID lockdowns.

I even maxed out the weight on the assisted pull-up machine.

As part of his inauguration, Biden must prove his physical fitness by running a lap of the White House.

On the starting line, the marshal tells him about all the other presidents to have completed the race before him.

“Obama was truly spectacular! He did his lap in only 15 minutes and 23 seconds! Trump was terrible and it took him well over 20 minutes to complete.”

Scoffing, Biden said “...

What do you call the ppl who only monkey around when you go to the fitness center to workout?

Gym pansies

I once dated a girl who was a fitness freak

It didn't last long, our relationship didn't work out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.

Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

Cardi B has a sister that's a fitness instructor.

Her name is Cardi O

I'm into fitness

Fitness cake in my mouth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One's all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens

Ever heard of the priest who moonlights as a fitness instructor?

He exercises demons.

I was looking for a gym one day, and I saw a sign saying "Fitness that way"

So, since this seemed promising, I went down the hall, and there were more signs. I went up the stairs, walked through the hall, went up two stairs, walked through two more halls, walked down three stairs, walked out of the building, walked around the building, went into the building, went up ten s...

A brunette, redhead and blond went to a remote fitness spa deep in the mountains for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded ...

I had to quit my new job as a personal trainer

After a few weeks of work I decided I didn’t have the fitness required to do the job so I handed in my too weak notice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally got an Apple Watch fitness tracker...

...I masturbated for a mile and a half last night!

A fitness freak is out for a run one day. She's having a great run, tunes playing through her ear buds, sun shining.

As she sprints blissfully across a road, a massive truck ploughs into her.

The next thing she's aware of is she's standing in a shiny, beautiful place and inately realises, this must be Heaven.

Sure enough, an angel approaches her and tells her, yes she's now in Heaven and gives her a ...

Asked my girlfriend who’s into fitness and nutrition, to take a break and have a cheat day

She slept with her best friend

Day three of quarantine. I can feel my fitness level depleting and my body fat increasing.

I have not been to the gym for three years.

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