UPJOKE
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number 5

I was walking down the street a few days ago I happened upon my good friend Tim. I waved him over and told him I had the craziest dream the other night.



Tim listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge, bright, number -5-. It was made of gold and shined li...

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers.

They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest.

Looking at them, the wife said to her husband "I don't know whether to watch them or the game."

Husband said, "Better watch them! You alrea...

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What's the difference between frequent pooing and anal bleachers?

One's diarrhoea and the others dye a rear.

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A Banana walks into a bar

He sits down and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender brings the banana his beverage and the banana begins to drink the beverage. Then a beautiful cucumber enters the bar and sits by the banana. The banana is quite taken by the cucumber. He asks if she’d like to go with him to the bathroom fo...

A Mexican man sneaks across the border to watch his favorite football team play...

...and makes it all the way to the stadium. He doesn't have tickets so he finds a large pole to climb up on and jumps down into the top of the bleachers to get a bird-eye view of the game.

After the game was over and his buddies ask him how the game was back in Mexico he replies:

"I do...

Paddy had just arrived in New York from Ireland and was invited by one of his American cousins to go to his first baseball game.

Seated in the Yankee Stadium bleachers, he watched as a man swung a
stick, hit a ball and started toward a white bag
down the line. Everyone stood up and yelled,
"Run, run!"
Then a second guy came up to the plate,
whacked the ball and started down toward the
white bag. Everyone sto...

A guy is in the front row of a basketball game.....

He is enjoying the game when suddenly someone yells, ''Steve!'' He looks over his shoulder, looks around but cannot see anyone in the mass of 15,000 fans. He continues to enjoy the game. He again hears ''SteveO,'' Now he gets up and looks around but eventually sits back down. He is taking a drink...

"Hey Dave!"

A guy is sitting in the left field bleachers of a baseball stadium, watching the game. In the first inning, someone pretty far behind him yells, "HEY DAVE!" The guy turns around and can't find who was yelling it.

This happens again in the fourth inning, and once more in the seventh. Frustrate...

An old man attends his grandson's little league game

He buys a Coke and hotdog. He sits at the top of the bleachers and puts his Coke and hotdog down. As he is about to unwrap the hotdog he hears someone yell HEY CLARENCE!. The old man grabs his Coke and hotdog and stands. He looks around but doesn't see anyone. He sets his Coke and hotdog down and si...

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The Peanut Gallery

Somewhere back in the era of grainy black-and-white TV, there was a Saturday kid's show called "Riddle Griddle." It was hosted by Jimmy Valentine, who is now in the Minnesota Broadcasting Hall of Fame.

The show had bleachers where the kids sat, like the "Peanut Galleries" of Mickey Mouse and ...

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