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Green Pea Jokes

What’s the difference between blue whales and green peas?

A leprechaun doesn’t get offended if you ask him if his whale’s blue.

What do you have if you have two little green peas in your hand?

Kermits undivided attention

Whats the difference between a green pea and a chickpea?

I would not pay $500 for a green pea on my face

How to catch a polar bear: Dig a big hole out in the ice and place little green peas all around it...

And when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

Scientists Have Developed a Way to Humanely Capture Polar Bears

It was found that tranquilizing them can have adverse effects, luckily a new method was discovered. Turns out, polar bears love green peas, strange for a carnivore, but helpful nonetheless. In order to capture them, the scientists carve a hole in the ice, not too big to allow escape, but not too sma...

How to catch a polar bear

Needed tools: one can of Jolly Green Giant Green Peas and an ice saw.

Step one: cut a polar bear sized hole in the ice
Step two: drain the juice from the peas and place them one at a time all the way around the hole you just cut in the ice.
Step three: when the polar bear come al...

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