UPJOKE
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my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas

my so-so grandmother got me socks

I’m lucky to have a great grandmother

And I’ve got another one who’s not so great

A simple but funny joke that came from my 100 year old great grandmother last night

She leans in to my mom and says
“When is Mother’s Day?”

My mom thought she was genuinely asking because she forgot, but she then says
“Nine months after fathers night”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This was my great grandmother’s favourite joke

What do a hooker and fried chicken have in common?

When your finished with the breasts and thighs, all you’re left with is a greasy box to throw your bone.

I came across an old photo of my great grandmother earlier today.

Took me nearly an hour to clean it off.

Whenever people tell me smoking is bad for me, I tell them that my great Grandmother lived to be 100 years old.

And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business"

My great grandmother started giggling at the barbecue

When I asked her what's so funny, she said, "Everyone here is alive, because I got laid."

my great great grandmother has eyes of a hawk

she also has a lifetime ban on the bird park

How to cook sausages

Once upon a time there was a little girl and one day her mommy decided it was time for her to learn how to cook sausages.


So she explains, slowly and patiently:


"You cut off the ends of the sausages, put a non-stick pan over a medium heat, and then add the sausages. Keep co...

Big shoutout to my great grandmother

She can't hear me otherwise

Made this joke up at my great grandmother's house while she was baking today.

One day a baker is trying to sell his bread on the streets but nobody will buy it. He goes home and on the way meets a witch. The witch tells the baker, "I'll make your bread the most special bread in the world! No other bread will be like to bread you make, but you have to pay be 50 gold!"
The b...

My great grandmother worked on the Underground Railroad...

She lived in NYC, we just called it the subway.

How do you make a honeymoon salad?

>!Lettuce alone, without any dressing.!<

My great grandmother used to travel on boats between the Philippines, England, and America \~100 years ago. During the down time on ships, she learned to entertain people, and come up with jokes, this was a good one that's been passed down throu...

When traveling India one of my hostel hosts invited me for his daughters wedding

At the wedding I shortly got to talk to the bride and I commented her beautiful wedding dress. She said she was the 7th generation who got married in this dress and it was her great great great great grandmother who had the dress made for her wedding back in 1982.

Great grandma calling her shot

My great grandmother was notorious for kind of edgy but hilarious jokes.. she also lived to 103 and 50 weeks.

At her funeral her daughter told my brother and I about the last time she saw her. She said she was getting everything together to leave and had told her mother goodbye and that she’...

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