I edited my pig's genes to make it taste better

you might even say the bacon is CRISPR

What happens when musician Gene Simmons opens up a jewelry shop inspired by his Israeli heritage?

Family Jew-els :)

My mom said that my dad told too many puns and dad jokes. She said “you have your fathers genes”

I said his jeans are too big for me

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

Who is CRISPR's favorite actor?

Gene Hackman

A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.

The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."

The doctor says in reply "How do you suppose that would happen?"

"I'm sure it had something to do with those vaccines he got last year." said the mom....

What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

A genealogist looks up family trees.
A gynecologist looks up bushes.

So this dude rubs a lamp and a genie pops out

The genie tells the man he will grant him a wish for setting him free. The man says "Ya know Gene, I love riding motorcycles. Love it more than life itself. I would love to travel across the entire world on my motorcycle, but I'm terrified of boats. Can you make a massive highway, that connects ...

Did you know lactose intolerance is a genetic thing?

Runs in the family.

What part of the fridge do you keep the gene edited baby in?

The CRISPR

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your genes.

What did Gene Wilder name his drug smuggling operation?

Charlie Up The Chocolate Factory

Is being a sub a recessive gene?

Sure is hell ain't a dominant one.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I have two friends named Gene

One of them is fat, and one of them is gay. Everyone I know who believes in the fat Gene refuses to believe there's a gay Gene

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

Should we eliminate psychopaths from the gene pool?

It might seem like a splendid idea, but as much pain and suffering these individuals put the rest of us through... We still need women for survival of the species.

Three men were stranded in a hot desert when suddenly a gene appeared!

The gene says: “I see you three have been walking in this hot desert for over a week and you’re almost out of food and water! I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only!”

The first man immediately shouts “Please teleport me home!”

And in an instant the man was teleported away...

What trousers did Mendel wear?

Genes.

Scientists have found the gene for shyness.

They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. - Jonathan Katz

What happens every time Gene Simmons gets in a fight with his band mates?

They Kiss and makeup

The gene pool recently got cleaner,

it was a tide add all along.

How are a gene pool and a swimming pool similar?

Sometimes you have to use bleach to keep it clean.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the Nazis think made their genes superior?

Uber alleles.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When I was a boy, Gene Wilder touched me

With his acting as Willy Wonka.

Did you know that every frog used to have at least some polish genes?

In fact, they were a tad-pole.

What's the difference between Gene Simmons and the Titanic?

Only 425 women went down on the Titanic.

Balding grizzles pass their genes to their offspring or...

Bare bears bear bare bears.

What will Gene Wilder's last will and testament will say?

YOU GET NOTHING!

Yeah I'm going to hell.

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.

This is the place for wordplay, right?

Scientists have discovered a Gene that makes women more receptive to threesomes

It's a recessive gene though, so both parents have to not love her for the trait to manifest.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the slutty DNA say to the other DNA?

Unzip your genes.

What are your three wishes?

Me: Make all words 4 letters long.

Gene: Wish grnt

MeMe: Make alll word star with "ye"

Yene: Yesh Yent

Yeme: yeke yell yerd year yeth "et"

Yeet: Yeet Yeet

Yeet: Yeet Yeet Yeet

How do you tell the difference between a Male chromosome and a female chromosome?

You pull down their genes!

Lost Wallet

I thought my dad would be angry when I told him I had lost my wallet, but he told me not to worry, that it was in my genes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Human Genome Project had a breakthrough and isolated the genes that make someone homosexual.

They are skinny genes.

Evolution has its hand in

Everyone’s genes

A scientist and the Catholic Pope were eating lunch together while discussing the latest news in scientific discovery.

Scientist: Right now, my research team is working on trying to clone insects using gene-replicating techniques.

Pope: That is very interesting! How far have you come along with it?

Scientist: We have engineered the cloning process, now we are going to execute our next phase which is ex...

What did one DNA strand say to the other?

Do these genes make me look fat?

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

Dear anti-vaxxers

When we said remove yourselves from the gene-pool... we meant stop breeding, not make sure your kids died before they had the chance.

An Indian scientist was collaborating with an American called Robert

Both of them being genetic researchers, they had reached a breakthrough in rice where a gene introduced would help it grow in the most adverse of conditions. They called it Victory gene, or V gene for short.

But Robert decided to steal the credit for himself, so he stole the v gene, and escap...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is the fastest way to determine the sex of chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

Everyone in my family has extremely skinny legs, so we all have to have our pants custom made. It's wicked expensive.

Damn skinny genes.

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What’s the difference between sex and premature ejaculation?

In one case you cede your genes...

what do alleles and diarrhea have in common

they both run in your genes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

​

Marvel are developing a new super hero who has the ability to remotely edit people’s DNA.

He will be called “Gene Hackman”

THIS IS A TRUE STORY

When I was in my tenth grade biology honors class, we were tasting a compound known as PTC. For those of you that don't know PTC is a chemical that you can either taste, super-taste or not taste at all and it depends entirely on genetics. I couldn't taste it but my tablemate Eric (made up name for p...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do sex and DNA replication have in common?

You gotta unzip the genes first.

Why don’t they need dress codes in Kentucky?

They already have the same genes.

Where do hillbillies like to hang out during the summer?

The shallow end of the gene pool.

How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar?

They both want to unzip your genes

Why are they called "smartypants"?

Because intelligence is a trait that runs in your genes!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A doctor, a lawyer, a college student, and a priest sign up for a skydiving trip...

...and find themselves in the air at 12,000 feet. Three minutes before crossing the LZ, both engines come to a complete stop.

The silence is deafening, until the pilot who is also the instructor, pops out of the cockpit with a panicked look on his face and says 'Folks, I'm sorry-we're out o...

I come from a long line of alcoholics.

My gene pool has a swim up bar.

Recent reports have shown that Tide Pods can be used to clean your bathtub or jacuzzi...

Since they're already acting like chlorine on our gene pool

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Donald Trump visits an elementary school

"You know I am one of the most intelligent people in the world, good genes very very smart brain. Let's see how smart you are kids: A limusine goes from the white house to TRUMP TOWER at 20 streets per minute. What's my age?"

The whole class stayed in silence. Nobody saw any logic in the ques...

Two tomatoes walked over a road.

Gene modification have gone way too far.

If a clothes designer had a child...

Would it have designer genes?

Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats...

It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son.

What is a chromosome's favorite article of clothing?

a pair of genes.

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