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Governments Jokes

Republicans want small government

So small that it fits in your doctors office and your bedroom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a nuclear war, they say the only thing to survive will be cockroaches.

Which means most countries will still have functioning governments.

I finally realize why authoritarian governments banned blank pieces of A4 paper in protests

It’s not Legal

It's easy to explain why so many national governments are in shambles today. Empires used to be run by emperors. Kingdoms were run by kings.

And now we have countries...

Why don’t horse’s governments ever get anything done?

Because they always vote neigh

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil...

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

During the pandemic governments have told people to work from home.

So if you're a dominatrix you must press ctrl + U.

An American was arguing with a Russian on which of their governments were better...

The American made the case, “you know in the United States of America you can march into the White House, slam your fists on the president’s desk and say, Mr.President, I don’t like the way you are running this country.”

The Russian replied,”I can do that”.

The American in a bit of s...

An American and a Soviet get into an argument about their governments

The American said,"In my country I can walk into the oval office, pound the president's desk and say, 'President Reagan, I don't like the way you are running our country.'"

The Russian said,"I can do that."

The American said,"You can?"

The Russian said,"Yes, I can go into the Kr...

Donald Trump...

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My approach to sex is similar to the governments approach to Brexit

I go in hard then pull out when I realise I have no idea what I'm doing

Hillary Clinton is elected President.

On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady), she is visited by the ghost of George Washington.

She asks, "What can I do to help America?"

Washington replies "Serve your country selflessly and always be honest"

*Hillary laughs in his face*

...

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