This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4.
I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.
The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

**Principal:** What is 3+3?

**Boy:** 6....

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They say English surnames all had a meaning, as in, "Smiths" were blacksmiths and "Taylors" were tailors...

So what the fuck did the Dickinsons do?

My family's surname is depressant, we all share a bleak outlook on life.

Except for my auntie.

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Many surnames can tell you what a person is

* Smith is a blacksmith
* Draper is a cloth merchant
* Archer is a bowman
* Pai is a cunt.

A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office

to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the welfare officer.

"Ten" replies the Liverpool girl,

"Ten?" says the welfare worker. "What are their names?"

"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan,Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan" replies the...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

Student 1:My name is Sean Archer and my surname represents that my forefathers were Archers

Student 2 : My name is Sarah Baker and my surname represents that my forefathers were Bakers

Student 3 : My name is John Dickinson and I fucking hate this game

I come from a family of scientists who share the surname 'Matter.' We all get along, just like the particles we study.

Except for my Auntie Matter.

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

Many surnames come from the job people's ancestors used to have. For example, the Smith family were related to a smith, the Baker family were related to a baker and then there's the Dickinson family...

Who were related to people from Alabama.

A fruit, an insect, and a Chinese surname walk into a bar.

Well, a pear, ant, lee.

I wish my surname was Gasket..

That way when people say things like, "I'm gunna blow a gasket!", I reply with a shrug and say, "Let's do this."

Our family surname is β€œDaniels”

So rather hilariously we named our first child Jack.

She hates it.

They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living

I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called "Dickinson"

Social services are talking to a recneck woman about her ten kids...

Social service guy: "ok miss, what's the first boy called?"

Recneck woman: "Billy-Joe"

SS guy: "and the second one?"

RW: "Billy-Joe"

The SS guy pauses for a second and asks "What's the third child called?"

RW: "Billy-Joe"

Ss guy: "hold on... Are ALL your boy...

If my surname was 'Case'...

I'd name my son 'Justin'


Just in case.

A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it?

A surname.

Nova seems to be a pretty popular Hispanic surname...

For me, since I speak English, that name would be a no-go

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

A child asks his father about the origins of surnames.

'Well Johnny, you see that surnames originate from the professions. For example, Margaret Thatcher's surname shows that she has the origins of a roof thatcher,' says the father.


'Oh do you have any other names that you could tell me?' pleads little Johnny.


'Well of course there...

What does a Polish husband give his new wife that's long and hard?

His surname.

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

TIL: Many medieval surnames like Fletcher or Cooper refer to the patriarch's traditional occupation.

I guess I won't be marrying Mr. Dickinson.

Why David shorted his surname to Hoff?

Because it was too much Hassel

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

Ever wonder where people got their surnames from?

Mr. Baker was probably a baker.

Mr. Butcher might have been a butcher.

...then there's Mr. Dickinson.

Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang.

...correct me if you think that's Wong.

An original.

The casting of the movie Grease was a slow process. They'd soon found their Sandy in Olivia Newton-John, but they just couldn't find someone to play Danny.

After weeks of Olivia reading lines with various actors and failing to have any chemistry with them the movie looked like it could be a f...

What's long and hard that Polish brides get on their wedding day?

A surname.

Marriage ceremonies are a lot shorter in Texas

Because the wife doesn't have to change her surname.

I once dated a Welsh girl with 36 DDs.

Longest surname I've ever seen.

Mother of The Year

So a reporter for *The Kansas City Star* goes all the way down into rural Arkansas to do a feature on a single mother with twelve sons.

As they sit on the porch sipping lemon tea and smoking Camels, the mother hears a shout. She yells, "Harold, you leave your brother alone!"

Then as a ...

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

A man cant get something out of his eye...

So he goes to the doctor. He tells about his problem to the receptionist and she writes "Strange body lodged in eye", and tells him to wait. She takes the charts to the doctor and the man goes to sit somewhere else. A few minutes go by, and the doctor comes out. He reads the chart and screams:
...

German tourist crosses Polish border

German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him:

-Name?

-Hans

-Surname?

-Schmidt

-Occupation?

-No, just traveling.

A woman walks into the Social Worker's office, trailed by 15 kids

WOW, the social worker exclaims, Are they ALL yours?

Yeah they're all mine, the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, Sit down Terry. All the children rush to find seats.

Well, says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'...