Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc.

Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker.
He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

What alternative surname would work for Trump right now?

Ection. Mr Ection.

Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames?

Honestly, it’s hard to know who’s White or Wong.

A Vietnamese couple get married, but both want to keep their surname. Luckily neither mind, agreeing to double barrel the two names.

It’s a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say English surnames all had a meaning, as in, "Smiths" were blacksmiths and "Taylors" were tailors...

So what exactly did the Dickinsons do?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some surnames are based off of what profession one had...

No wonder my last name is Dickinson

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Student 1:My name is Sean Archer and my surname represents that my forefathers were Archers

Student 2 : My name is Sarah Baker and my surname represents that my forefathers were Bakers

Student 3 : My name is John Dickinson and I fucking hate this game

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It just struck me that in British slang the US President's surname means "Fart" and in US slang the British prime minister's surname means "Penis"



I can't wait to tell the wife. She'll laugh her Merkel off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The surnames of England

The surnames of England will tell you a lot about what sort of people they are, and of what sort of things they're proud of: The Bakers, for example, came from a prominent line of breadmakers; The Masons were all very fine stoneworkers; But among the English people, no surname is held in higher rega...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I learned that your surname denotes your ancestor's occupation like Baker, Mason, or Potter

Someone definitely has to explain why our surname is Dickinson.

A bunch of soldiers who just got enlisted are presented to their drill sergeant

A bunch of soldiers who just got enlisted are presented to their drill sergeant. The drill sergeant makes them line up and starts shouting at them.

"Privates!! I am your new sergeant and you have listen to everything I say!! "
Now listen closely, I am sergeant Fenitals!! Did you understan...

That actress called Reese got stabbed the other day. I just can't remember her surname.

Witherspoon?

No with a knife.

A single mother from a rough estate had seven boys, all called Wayne, all from different fathers, the local news went to interview her...

So why did you call them all Wayne?

Easy, when its dinner I just shout 'Wayne dinnertime' and they all come in for dinner, when it's late and time for them to go to bed I just shout 'Wayne bedtime' and off they all go to bed!

That's ingenious, says the interviewer, but what how do you ...

A Vietnamese American woman, Christine Nguyen, wanted to preserve her surname.

Christine Nguyen, wanted to keep her surname after marriage, so she resolved to not take on the surname of the man she married, or change her name to a double barrel name that included her family's name.



Luckily, the man she ended up marrying was also Vietnamese American too, who just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher told us that the first people to have a surname had some kind of story on how people began to call them that, like how Michael Collins was a drunkard

Somehow i dont wanna know Emily Dickinson's story.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

Our family surname is “Daniels”

So rather hilariously we named our first child Jack.

She hates it.

They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living

I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called "Dickinson"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many surnames come from the job people's ancestors used to have. For example, the Smith family were related to a smith, the Baker family were related to a baker and then there's the Dickinson family...

Who were related to people from Alabama.

A fruit, an insect, and a Chinese surname walk into a bar.

Well, a pear, ant, lee.

If my surname was 'Case'...

I'd name my son 'Justin'


Just in case.

My family's surname is depressant, we all share a bleak outlook on life.

Except for my auntie.

I come from a family of scientists who share the surname 'Matter.' We all get along, just like the particles we study.

Except for my Auntie Matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A child asks his father about the origins of surnames.

'Well Johnny, you see that surnames originate from the professions. For example, Margaret Thatcher's surname shows that she has the origins of a roof thatcher,' says the father.


'Oh do you have any other names that you could tell me?' pleads little Johnny.


'Well of course there...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever wonder where people got their surnames from?

Mr. Baker was probably a baker.

Mr. Butcher might have been a butcher.

...then there's Mr. Dickinson.

Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang.

...correct me if you think that's Wong.

A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, Madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it?

A surname.

Nova seems to be a pretty popular Hispanic surname...

For me, since I speak English, that name would be a no-go

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL: Many medieval surnames like Fletcher or Cooper refer to the patriarch's traditional occupation.

I guess I won't be marrying Mr. Dickinson.

Why David shorted his surname to Hoff?

Because it was too much Hassel

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Program for a mobile device. 3 letters

Wife: App

Husband: Common Jewish surname, 5 letters

Wife: Stein

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Male poss...

At the behest of my mother...

"HEY son, did you know Yoda has a surname?"

"Oh? What is it?"

"Yoda-lay-hee-hoo"

I fully expect the down votes.

The way Star Wars should've ended. SPOILER

Old Lady- "What's your name?

"Rey"

"What's your surname?"


.....Long dramatic pause......


"Binks."

Fade to Black

Identity Crises!

A man goes to the doctor's consultation room to get the results of his wife's tests.

The lady on duty tells him: "I'm terribly sorry Mr. but there was a bit of a problem that crept in.

We sent your wife's tests along with another lady with the same surname, to the pathologists. Resul...

A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office

to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the welfare officer.

"Ten" replies the Liverpool girl,

"Ten?" says the welfare worker. "What are their names?"

"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan,Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan" replies the...

What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Surname.

Social services are talking to a recneck woman about her ten kids...

Social service guy: "ok miss, what's the first boy called?"

Recneck woman: "Billy-Joe"

SS guy: "and the second one?"

RW: "Billy-Joe"

The SS guy pauses for a second and asks "What's the third child called?"

RW: "Billy-Joe"

Ss guy: "hold on... Are ALL your boy...

I once dated a Welsh girl with 36 DDs.

Longest surname I've ever seen.

What does a Polish husband give his new wife that's long and hard?

His surname.

An original.

The casting of the movie Grease was a slow process. They'd soon found their Sandy in Olivia Newton-John, but they just couldn't find someone to play Danny.

After weeks of Olivia reading lines with various actors and failing to have any chemistry with them the movie looked like it could be a f...

Marriage ceremonies are a lot shorter in Texas

Because the wife doesn't have to change her surname.

A woman walks into the Social Worker's office, trailed by 15 kids

WOW, the social worker exclaims, Are they ALL yours?

Yeah they're all mine, the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, Sit down Terry. All the children rush to find seats.

Well, says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'...

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

Mother of The Year

So a reporter for *The Kansas City Star* goes all the way down into rural Arkansas to do a feature on a single mother with twelve sons.

As they sit on the porch sipping lemon tea and smoking Camels, the mother hears a shout. She yells, "Harold, you leave your brother alone!"

Then as a ...

German tourist crosses Polish border

German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him:

-Name?

-Hans

-Surname?

-Schmidt

-Occupation?

-No, just traveling.

A man cant get something out of his eye...

So he goes to the doctor. He tells about his problem to the receptionist and she writes "Strange body lodged in eye", and tells him to wait. She takes the charts to the doctor and the man goes to sit somewhere else. A few minutes go by, and the doctor comes out. He reads the chart and screams:
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.