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Good Manners Jokes

A teacher trying to teach good manners ...

A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:


"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"


Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."


The te...

What do good manners and public transport have in common?

They were designed to be used by others, not oneself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well-educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."...

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners

>!But she just screamed after I opened the airplane door....!<

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A teacher was giving her students a lecture about good manners.

She wanted to test how they would act in a certain circumstance, so she asked:
- Derek, imagine that you’re having dinner with a girl you love, and you suddenly want to go to the restroom during the meal. What would you say to her in this situation?
- “Stay right there, I’m going to pee.”
-...

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Good manners in bed

Girl Friend: I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table ...

Boy friend climbs into bed slowly & says: Honey, would you pass the boobs please?

And here’s another lesson in good manners.

Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next?

Really poor taste at funerals.

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Two friends, Sarah and Kate, who haven't met in a while, run into each other.

Sarah: You know, my boyfriend bought me a Mercedes two weeks ago.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And yesterday, he gave me a pearl necklace.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And in a month, we are going on a three-week-long vacation on Hawaii.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: Thanks. But,...

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My new sexy neighbour just sneezed,

so by instinct and good manners I said bless you.

She said thanks, but looked a little confused that her wardrobe was talking to her!

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it...

The owner said, "Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me - you do not want that parrot!"

She said, "I can teach it good manners." 

But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.

She took it out and said, "Did you learn your...

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Good Etiquette

During a good manners and etiquette class being taught at the local high school for senior boys, the young, attractive, first-year teacher asked, "If you were courting a well-educated girl from a prominent family and during dinner, you needed to use the bathroom, how would you properly excuse yourse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.

Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:

Hubby: I wanna tell you something.

Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.

Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!

Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while

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A little girl and her dog are on a street corner waiting to cross...

and an old man walks up. The old man says.

Man: Hello, little girl, how do you do?

Girl: I'm fine, thank you. And how are you, sir?

Man: I'm very well. What a pretty little dress you're wearing.

Girl: Thank you, sir. My mother made it for me.

Man: And you're so pol...

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