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Underworld Jokes

What did the Egyptians use to travel to the Underworld?

A new bus.

Why does Cerberus like the underworld so much?

Because of the Styx

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

"Who's Sisyphus?" she asks. You begin to respond: "it's this myth about a guy being punished in the underworld where he has to-"

Her phone rings.

"One second," she says. A few minutes later, she prompts you to continue: "I'm sorry, I cut you off."

You start again. "Sisyphus is a-"

Her phone rings again. "Sorry, one sec."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Picasso, Caravaggio, and Warhol meet in Hell.

They ask for an appointment with god to ask him why they went to hell despite being great artists who gave so much to the world.

God says, "Caravaggio, you were a street gang bully and a literal murderer. Of course you go to hell."

"What about me?" Picasso says.

"Picasso, you tr...

What are the most popular goods in the underworld?

Under wares

Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he’s just depressed.

He’s trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.

What did the King of the Underworld say when Zeus gave him a gift he didn't like?

I hades.

How to people in wheelchairs get to the underworld?

They take the hell-evator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. I reposted it 4 years ago. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

Mussolini goes to hell

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname...

Murder @ Wal-Mart

So here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend o...

An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates

An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly
said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let
in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with
the level of comfort in h...

Daedalus and the Labyrinth

Daedalus, the famous Greek architect and inventor, was relaxing in his home in the Blessed Isles of the Underworld when Hades, the Lord of Death himself, came to him with a favor.

"Listen, Daedalus," Hades began. "You know how the population of the dead here increase every year? The Underworl...

A lawyer well known for his stinginess dies and goes to heaven

He is greeted at the pearly gates by St. Peter.

St. Peter looks through the giant book of life, which detailed all the lawyer did, looks at the lawyer and says “Yup, sorry, don’t think you’ve lived your life doing enough good to get into heaven. The lift to the underworld is that end.”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nice legs

Once upon a time there was a contest to find those people on Earth who had the best legs. Over six hundred million prizes were available, and each prize was for a life-altering sum of money, so almost every human on Earth took part.

Unbeknownst to them, the contest had been organised by Sata...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joel Osteen dies and goes to Heaven.

He looks up at the big pearly gates and immediately recognizes where he is. He waits for a while but no one comes to greet him. Beyond the gates, he hears a band performing a concert between deafening cheers of the crowd and other indications of general merriment. He looks around but cannot find ...

Big Artie

There once was a Hitman named Big Artie.

Things were tough in the Underworld at thew time, what with the Financial Crisis lately and such, the market hasn't been kind to his business. Because of this, he decides that he needs to put down the prices - It's been months since he'd had a job and ...

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