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Computer Game Jokes

My ex was like a computer game.

Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?

Mein Kraft.

My son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered this for a moment and replied: “When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.”

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly...

but now I'm losing Steam.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game.



I think it is just too weak.

Computer games are said to be a bad influence on kids.

Nonsense - my generation grew up playing Pac-Man, but did we end up dashing around dark rooms and swallowing white dots while listening to electronic music?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy was upstairs playing computer games when his granddad came in the room and sat down on the bed.



"What are you doing?" asks granddad. "You're eighteen years old: you’re wasting your life! When I was eighteen I went to Paris; I went to the Moulin Rouge, drank all night, felt up one of the dancers on stage, pissed on the barman and left without paying. Now *that’s* how to have a good time...

A computer game character walks into a bar...

I should really turn no-clip off.

A friend told me that Asians are the best at computer games because they use two keyboards instead of one.

But that's just stereo typing.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she was spending too much time playing computer games.

Her Minesweeper addiction was a big red flag.

Minesweeper

It's either a computer game or an angry German custodian yelling at kids who stole his broom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: I'm sorry but your heart is going to fail... probably within next month.

Patient: oh!! Is there anything I can do?

Doc: well you have to quit smoking, no alcohol, only eat vegan food, absolutely no exercise at all, do not take any exciting activity, also try not to meet your friends, no internet, no computer games, and obviously no sex.

Pat: would I live lo...

My friend always said, "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life!"

He plays computer games all day and has never worked a day in his life.

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
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