Punt Jokes - 11 Hilarious Punt Jokes

Why did the Irish call their currency the "Punt" ?

Because it rhymes with Bank Manager

I've been punting my cigarette packs lately

I'm trying to kick the habit

Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

The animals were bored.

Finally the lion had an idea. He tells the other animals how he's seen the humans play a game called American football. He proceeded to tell them how it's played and explained its rules. This got them excited.

They chose their teams and went out to an open field. The lion's team received, and...

Did you hear about the nun who used to punt her laundry into the hamper every day?

Last I heard she kicked the habit.

My friend said “I bet you £50 you can’t steal a boat”...

I decided to take a punt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Off in the English countryside, back behind the church, there lay a secluded stretch of river, set amidst the willows, which was reserved for clergymen who wished to bathe in the nude.

Prominent signs warned against trespassing, and barriers prevented boats and punts containing females from approaching this discreet section of the river.

One fateful Sunday afternoon, as the holy men laid on the bank, the river rose up. It washed away the signs and weakened the barriers, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An oldie but a goodie

A towns prison was overflowing with inmates, and they were running out of room for new prisoners.

The local police force decided to allow two criminals to be punished by the public for their crimes. One was a wife beater, and the other was a rapist.

There was a queue in front of each c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy goes on a train ride...(long)

A thought occurs to him, so he looks up at his Mom and says, "Mommy, if big dogs have little dogs and big cats have little cats and big people have little people, why don't big trains have little trains?" Well, Mom doesn't want to engage in a "birds and bees" lesson with junior, so she punts and re...

A fire rages in a high-rise apartment in Germany...

and a woman and her baby are stuck on a high floor, looking out the window. The firetruck's ladder cannot reach them, so the woman contemplates throwing the baby down to the firemen but both the mother and the firemen are scared of maybe not catching the baby.

Then, Manuel Neuer, Germany's...

A Rabbi falls through a portal one day...

And ends up in an alternate universe, inhabited by a people known as the Trids. They take him in and are friendly, but every day at exactly 3 pm a they all bury their heads in the ground. Eventually the rabbi gets curious enough to ask them why they do that. Their leader replies that sometimes a gia...

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