Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying

When his mother ask why he replays.
"The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that."

Mom says "cause u black and they white."

Next day Tyrone is crying again .

"What's wrong today Tyrone" his mothe...

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A wife is desperately looking for a present for her husband's 50th birthday.

She goes into a pet shop and starts asking for yhe prices ok different animals, but her attention goes into a frog that had a label for $1.000 dollars. Consumed by doubt, she approaches to a salesman and asks about this overly expensive pet:

-Excuse me can you tell me, why this frog is so exp...

A man was involved in a terrible car accident. Because of the accident he lost one of his eyes.

The doctor explained to him that he could get a fake eye to replace the real one. So the man agrees and chooses the least expensive. A wooden eye.   Some months pass and the mans friends come over to visit him. They are very worried because he has not been out of the house for months. They tell him ...

A trucker walks into a bar.

He sits at the bar and orders a beer, the bartender is a bit surprised to see the trucker. "Hey Bob, haven't seen you in a while, what have you been up to? "

Bob takes a swig of beer, "man that tastes good, haven't had a beer in 18 months, I have been in prison" he says.

"You, I can't ...

How's the soccer game going?

Good! It's 3-1 now. The first goal was made by Ronaldo and the other two by someone named replay.

Make us happy!

There was Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton on a helicopter flying over New York, when Donald said “I will throw this 20 dollars out of the helicopter and make someone happy”, Hillary replay “I will throw this two 10 dollars bills out of the helicopter and make two people happy”, Donald with disgust ...

The good doctor

A doctor moves to America, but is not allowed to continue practicing medicine. So he opens a shop with a sign that says "$20 and we'll cure any illness. Guaranteed, or you get $100 back."

A lawyer sees the sign and realizes he can make an easy $100. He walks into the clinic and says he lost ...

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An American is visiting London for the first time

As he's walking around he notices a long line forming on the distance. Curious as to what's going on he gets in the back of the line and asks the man in front of him "So what's the deal with this line?"
The Brit promptly replay with a firm
"Fuck you"
This caught the American off guard. Fla...

A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.

Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.

This is my gr...

My dad told a lame joke today

I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes.
His replay was - I made you didn't I?

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A man walks into a brothel

And tells the women at the counter, " I'm looking for some pussy" the clerk is concerned and instead offers the man some chicken. $10 and you can have your way with the chicken. She says. The man looks at the chicken on the counter, after a moment of silence he agrees. She points him down the hall t...

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Four nuns die in a bus accident...

When they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter is there waiting for them. "Welcome to heaven." says St Peter "Before I can let you in, I have to ask you a question. It's a little personal, but I have to ask, so go have a seat and I will call you up one at a time." The nuns have a seat and a few minut...

How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$?

He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay.

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A man with a crippling stutter visits his doctor hoping for a cure...

"D D D D Doctor, you've g g g g got to Help m m m me, I'll dddo anyt t t t thing.

The doctor gives him a thorough physical examination, and sure enough discovers the problem....

"your penis is massive, it's causing a great strain on your vocal chords, which is creating the stutte...

Burglar Meets Moses and Jesus

There was once a burglar that had been staking out a house for weeks. He finally decided to break in when we saw the tenants leaving for dinner date.

He then snuck in through a back door that he knew where the extra key was hidden. As he snuck through the house spotting his flashlight on what...

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