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Firecracker Jokes

This 4th of July please remember it's not "firecracker"

This Independence Day, please remember it's not "firecracker," that term is very offensive to some people. It's "fire-caucasian." Thank you.

What two things do you get when you throw a firecracker into a french kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart and debrie every where.

What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a ghost?

Bamboo!

Did you hear about the guy who died while on a date with a firecracker?

People say he went out with a bang.

What did the Pirate say when he got his firecrackers?

Ahoy M-80

A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker.

He charged one and let the other one off

What do computers eat for snacks?

Micro-chips


(Discovered on a Firecracker Popsicle stick)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was in class one afternoon

And the teacher asked him to come to the front and tell the class what he had done that weekend, hoping that it would be a nice clean story (ok...)

"Well miss, me and my mate grabbed a frog from the stream and shoved a firecracker up his arse th-"

Feeling a bit flustered and trying to ...

What do you call a trailer​ park fire?

Firecrackers

What's a dragon's favorite snack?

A firecracker!

My Dad tried twisting the wicks of a handful of firecrackers together and accidentally pulled them out. I told him to stop and not try to fix them, it wasn't safe.

He refused two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck goes to his doctor...

...and asks him "Hey doc, I don't want to risk having any more kids."

The doctor says "Well I would suggest a vasectomy, then."

The redneck says "That costs way too much, though. Got any other ideas?"

The doctor thinks for a minute then says, "ok, what I want you to do is, when ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

It was show & tell time at school when the teacher finally got around to asking Johnny what he had to show or tell. Johnny got up in front of the class and said “On the weekend my friends and I went to the creek near my house. We found some frogs and stuck firecrackers up their ass!” “Johnny!!! ...

Busted!

A couple days ago a couple kids in high school were busted behind their school. One was eating firecrackers and the other was drinking battery acid.

They were taken to court by the police. The judge thought long and hard what their punishment should be, but just ended up charging the one, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Proper procedural Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, a Pathan couple decided that enough is enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fi...

Two troublesome boys

So these two kids are just the worst. They're 8 and 6, and they get into trouble every day. Kicking cats, firecrackers in mailboxes, the works. If something is broken or missing in their neighborhood, it's these kids' fault.

Their parents are at their wits end; they've tried grounding th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

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