What did Scar tell Simba when he was getting chased by the stampede?

Move fassa'

My uncle died from a turtle stampede

It was a slow death

Bobby told Billy he stopped a stampede.

That was the biggest bunch of bull he ever herd.

How did the cowboy survive the stampede?

He had herd immunity.

An oil prospector is waiting at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter had some bad news for an oil prospector who appeared at the pearly gates of heaven: “You’re qualified for admission,” said St. Peter, “but, as you can see, the section for oil prospectors is packed. There’s no way to fit you in.”

After a moment, the prospector asked to say just four...

Why did Simba's dad die in a stampede?

Because he didn't Moofassa enough!

What did the villager say after the stampede of bearded antelopes ended?

No Gnus is Good News!

What do you call a stampede of mexicans running away from a snake?

**Hiss**-panic

What do you call a stampede that runs in circles?

NASCOW

Big Joe

A guy runs into a bar. "I'll have a vodka tonic, but make it snappy!" he says to the bartender.

The barkeep hands him his drink. The guy throws a twenty down and says, "Keep the change. I gotta get out of here, Big Joe's coming!"

Hearing this, patrons all over the bar frantically get u...

A very Canadian joke

It's Grey Cup weekend in Vancouver... the Stampeders are playing the Argonauts at BC Place, and fans are flying in from all over the country to watch the game and join in the festivities.

It's kind of chaotic at the domestic arrivals terminal at YVR. Air Canada and WestJet flights are arrivin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Melons in Love

Once upon a time, there were two teenage melons who fell in love at first sight, so they decided to run away to Vegas to get married. The melons woke up very early one morning to sneak away, since the drive would take all day and all night, and also because they suspected their parents would not app...

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