Did you here about the old guy who gave toddlers dynamite?

He was a Baby Boomer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend said her favorite BTS song was "Dynamite"

I can't believe it's not "Butter".

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!" He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!" He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his cloth...

What do you call a military dictator killed by a stick of dynamite?

Napoleon Blown-aparte.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nymphomanical Jill Used Dynamite Sticks for a Thrill

They found her vagina
in South Carolina
and one of her tits in Brazil

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Santa & Preeto on a farm!

Santa Singh and his wife Preeto were living in Assam on a farm up in the hills.


One day, Santa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Preeto that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.


Preeto says, "Why don't you go...

If your brain was dynamite,

there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

Alfred Nobel got rich by selling dynamite

Growth was Explosive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A game warden sees an old man going out fishing alone and asks if he can go along.

The old man relents and rows out to the middle of the lake. Then he opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and drops it into the lake. After it goes off the boat is surrounded with dead fish and the old guy starts scooping up the bodies. The warden is incensed and says 'That'...

Old Ted was out in his boat on the lake.

He'd light a stick of dynamite and throw it out in the water, then pull in the dead fish after it went off.

The game warden pulls up in his boat along side Old Ted's and says "Ted, you know it's illegal to dynamite for fish?"

Old Ted doesn't say a word, just picks up another stick, lig...

The police raided my house and found dynamite, wire and a detonator with a plunger

Eyes welling with tears, I begged, “PLEASE don’t press charges!”

What do you get if you set off dynamite planted in the corner between two perpendicular walls?

A wrecked angle

I was admiring my naked body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!"

My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"

Willie saw some dynamite

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable!

(say it out loud, slowly)

Fishing with Bubba

One day a local went in to the sheriff and told him that Bubba was breaking the law when he went fishing. The sheriff called the game warden and sent him to investigate.

The game warden found Bubba at the convenience store packing ice into his beer cooler with a boat attached to his truck....

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle

That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

What’s a terrorist’s favorite dish?

Dynamite shrimp

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite

Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse

Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite

...because all the others could not be positively identified.

What do BTS and Guy Fawkes have in common?

They both want to “light it up like dynamite”

A stranger gave me a really old metal box...

He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.

So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys ...

Before the Revolution, a Unit of Chinese Troops was Charged with Digging a Tunnel

The engineer described his plan to the commanding officer: "We will have dynamite and a hundred soldiers with shovels on one side of the mountain, and dynamite and a hundred soldiers on the other side of the mountain. And when they meet in the middle, we'll have a tunnel."

"What if they d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Subject matter: Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough) There once was a lady named Jill

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day Gary went into the local tattoo parlor with a somewhat odd request.

He had this great new girlfriend named Wendy , he explained , and while their sex life was dynamite , he was sure it would be even better if he had her name tattooed on his prick . The tattoo artist did her best to dissuade him , pointing out that it would be very painful and that most of the time t...

A magician on a cruise ship

Is doing magic for a particularly rough crowd. There's a man in the audience with a parrot in his shoulder that is giving away all the tricks.

Every time he does a card trick the bird would scream," Its up his sleeve."

Every time he makes something disappear the bird would scream," s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy starts making out with a dumb blonde

She starts feeling up his arms and says in sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're so big!"

Guy says "You like that baby? That's 50 pounds of dynamite."

She continues caressing his body and when she gets to his legs, she says in a sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man from Brazil

Who swallowed a dynamite pill

His tummy perspired

His butt backfired

And his balls flew over the hill

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming....

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming. Sven complained of the costs of fertilizer, and Oli asked why he didn't just use the nightsoil from his outhouse? Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out."

Now, O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a woman from Dallas

Who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus

They found her vagina

In North Carolina

And her arsehole in Buckingham Palace

The Outdoor Toilet

A young man wanted to invite his girlfriend to their farm but was embarrassed by the old-fashioned outdoor toilet.

He kept bickering his dad for a modern, indoor one, but the old-timer didn't want to give in.

Out of sheer desperation, he slips out one night, puts a lot of dynamite be...

A bodybuilder meets a woman at a bar, ...

and after a number of drinks, they agreed to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
...

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act (same but different)

Somewhere out deep on an Alabama lake there's a **R**edneck lighting sticks of dynamite and tossing them into the water. After each tremendous explosion, he grabs his net and pulls the dead fish into his boat. Before too long, the **G**ame **W**arden races out, lights and sirens blaring and screamin...

You know what blows my mind?

Dynamite

Why is a dictionary dangerous?

Because it has dynamite in it.

Everyone knows the story of the three little pigs... here's another version:



The first little pig was playing in the forest, when the big bad wolf

spotted him and chased him back to his straw house. The pig hid inside,

peeking out at the wolf, who looked at the house, laughed, then huffed

and puffed and blew the house down. The pig, scared witles...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There were two morticians that had a bitter family feud

for many years. On his death bed, one mortician told his son he wished to finally put an end to the quarrel, and requested to be cremated by his rival. His son nodded, but noticed his father was in pain, and asked if he needed a nurse. The man said, "No, I'm fine, it's just a bit uncomfortable with ...

Bubba and the game warden

Bubba always came back from fishing with a lot of fish. The game warden saw him one day and asked how he caught so many. Bubba invited him to fish the next day and the warden said yes.

Once they get to the fishing spot, Bubba takes out a stick of dynamite, lights it, throws it in the water, a...

Sam's fishing secret.

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...

And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"


The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is 'rectum'."


"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"

How do you blow a flat earthers mind?

With dynamite.

An old man orders a chicken from the diner...

The irascible old gentleman had ordered a chicken from the menu, but when he got it, he wasn’t satisfied.

“Waiter!” he yelled. “Bring a charge of dynamite and a hatchet and a double steam power jackhammer—that’s the only way I can carve this bird!”

The waiter was desolate. “Very sorry,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple Limericks...

There once was a man from Ireland
With balls made of fine brass
In stormy weather
They clanked together
And sparks shot out of his ass

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who was jerking off in a gutter
The tropical heat
Affected his meat
S...

"What's that in your bag?"

"A knife, a box of matchsticks, some petrol and a few sticks of dynamite"

"No, that other thing there"

"Oh, just a pack of wafers"

"I'm sorry you can't bring that into the theater"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Game Warden goes fishing [long]

This fellow got hired by the Conservation Department as a game warden. He just loved all things hunting and fishing, and being new in town, started asking around where the good fishing holes were. Finally he came to this little country bar, and asked the bartender. "Charlie catches more fish than...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 3 Little Pigs

There were once three little pigs, named Jiggs, Willie, and Elmer. They lived a nice quiet life in their houses made of straw, wood, and brick, respectively. But wouldn't you know it, the Big Bad Wolf came strolling into town one day, hungry for some porkchops and maybe a little applesauce on the si...

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.