Dynamite Jokes - 50 Hilarious Dynamite Jokes

A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims...

"Wow, what a great chest you have!"

"He says, "Solid dynamite, babe."

He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Wow, what massive calves you have!"

He flexes his leg muscles and says, "Like I said, pure dynamite, sweetheart."

Then he removes his underwear and the ...

Did you here about the old guy who gave toddlers dynamite?

He was a Baby Boomer!

A man is working out with a blonde nearby

He gets hot while doing his sets so he takes off his shirt. The blonde winks and says "Wow, you've got some nice pecs there."

The man smirks and says "100 pounds of pure dynamite, babe." and returns to his workout. A few minutes go by and he gets hotter so he takes off his pants.

The b...

What do you call dynamite that do not explode?

TN'T

Where's the best place to hunt deer using dynamite?

Just trying to get the most buck for the bang

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Some guy just shoved dynamite up a bull's ass.

Simply abominable.

I'm dynamite in bed.

One good pump and I explode.

what did the nuke say to the dynamite?

Ok, Boomer

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Nymphomanical Jill Used Dynamite Sticks for a Thrill

They found her vagina
in South Carolina
and one of her tits in Brazil

If your brain was dynamite,

there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

What do you get when you mix Napolean Dynamite and Napolean Bonaparte?

Napolean Blownapart

I tried to rob a bank by blowing up the safe. Things were going well but there was just one problem.

I bought some cheap dynamite that was advertized as "The inexpensive explosives that won't break the bank."

Willie saw some dynamite

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite

Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse

Old Ted was out in his boat on the lake.

He'd light a stick of dynamite and throw it out in the water, then pull in the dead fish after it went off.

The game warden pulls up in his boat along side Old Ted's and says "Ted, you know it's illegal to dynamite for fish?"

Old Ted doesn't say a word, just picks up another stick, lig...

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My friend said her favorite BTS song was "Dynamite"

I can't believe it's not "Butter".

What do you call a military dictator killed by a stick of dynamite?

Napoleon Blown-aparte.

The police raided my house and found dynamite, wire and a detonator with a plunger

Eyes welling with tears, I begged, “PLEASE don’t press charges!”

The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle

That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...

Alfred Nobel got rich by selling dynamite

Growth was Explosive

What do you get if you set off dynamite planted in the corner between two perpendicular walls?

A wrecked angle

Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite

...because all the others could not be positively identified.

I was admiring my naked body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!"

My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable!

(say it out loud, slowly)

Fishing with Bubba

One day a local went in to the sheriff and told him that Bubba was breaking the law when he went fishing. The sheriff called the game warden and sent him to investigate.

The game warden found Bubba at the convenience store packing ice into his beer cooler with a boat attached to his truck....

A bodybuilder meets a woman at a bar, ...

and after a number of drinks, they agreed to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
...

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A game warden sees an old man going out fishing alone and asks if he can go along.

The old man relents and rows out to the middle of the lake. Then he opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and drops it into the lake. After it goes off the boat is surrounded with dead fish and the old guy starts scooping up the bodies. The warden is incensed and says 'That'...

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A guy starts making out with a dumb blonde

She starts feeling up his arms and says in sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're so big!"

Guy says "You like that baby? That's 50 pounds of dynamite."

She continues caressing his body and when she gets to his legs, she says in a sexy voice "Ooh! What do we have here? They're h...

A stranger gave me a really old metal box...

He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.

So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys ...

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Santa & Preeto on a farm!

Santa Singh and his wife Preeto were living in Assam on a farm up in the hills.

One day, Santa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Preeto that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.

Preeto says, "Why don't you go...

What’s a terrorist’s favorite dish?

Dynamite shrimp

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act (same but different)

Somewhere out deep on an Alabama lake there's a **R**edneck lighting sticks of dynamite and tossing them into the water. After each tremendous explosion, he grabs his net and pulls the dead fish into his boat. Before too long, the **G**ame **W**arden races out, lights and sirens blaring and screamin...

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There once was a man from Brazil

Who swallowed a dynamite pill

His tummy perspired

His butt backfired

And his balls flew over the hill

You know what blows my mind?

Dynamite

How do you blow a flat earthers mind?

With dynamite.

Bubba and the game warden

Bubba always came back from fishing with a lot of fish. The game warden saw him one day and asked how he caught so many. Bubba invited him to fish the next day and the warden said yes.

Once they get to the fishing spot, Bubba takes out a stick of dynamite, lights it, throws it in the water, a...

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There once was a woman from Dallas

Who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus

They found her vagina

In North Carolina

And her arsehole in Buckingham Palace

El Chapo has been found guilty in the United States

In other news, a secret buyer in Mexico is looking to obtain 500 shovels and 16 tons of dynamite.

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Game Warden goes fishing [long]

This fellow got hired by the Conservation Department as a game warden. He just loved all things hunting and fishing, and being new in town, started asking around where the good fishing holes were. Finally he came to this little country bar, and asked the bartender. "Charlie catches more fish than...

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A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...

And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"

The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is 'rectum'."

"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"

Sam's fishing secret.

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curio...

The Outdoor Toilet

A young man wanted to invite his girlfriend to their farm but was embarrassed by the old-fashioned outdoor toilet.

He kept bickering his dad for a modern, indoor one, but the old-timer didn't want to give in.

Out of sheer desperation, he slips out one night, puts a lot of dynamite be...

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One day Gary went into the local tattoo parlor with a somewhat odd request.

He had this great new girlfriend named Wendy , he explained , and while their sex life was dynamite , he was sure it would be even better if he had her name tattooed on his prick . The tattoo artist did her best to dissuade him , pointing out that it would be very painful and that most of the time t...

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A couple Limericks...

There once was a man from Ireland
With balls made of fine brass
In stormy weather
They clanked together
And sparks shot out of his ass

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who was jerking off in a gutter
The tropical heat
Affected his meat
S...

An old man orders a chicken from the diner...

The irascible old gentleman had ordered a chicken from the menu, but when he got it, he wasn’t satisfied.

“Waiter!” he yelled. “Bring a charge of dynamite and a hatchet and a double steam power jackhammer—that’s the only way I can carve this bird!”

The waiter was desolate. “Very sorry,...

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming....

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming. Sven complained of the costs of fertilizer, and Oli asked why he didn't just use the nightsoil from his outhouse? Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out."

Now, O...

A magician on a cruise ship

Is doing magic for a particularly rough crowd. There's a man in the audience with a parrot in his shoulder that is giving away all the tricks.

Every time he does a card trick the bird would scream," Its up his sleeve."

Every time he makes something disappear the bird would scream," s...

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After ...

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The 3 Little Pigs

There were once three little pigs, named Jiggs, Willie, and Elmer. They lived a nice quiet life in their houses made of straw, wood, and brick, respectively. But wouldn't you know it, the Big Bad Wolf came strolling into town one day, hungry for some porkchops and maybe a little applesauce on the si...

Everyone knows the story of the three little pigs... here's another version:

The first little pig was playing in the forest, when the big bad wolf

spotted him and chased him back to his straw house. The pig hid inside,

peeking out at the wolf, who looked at the house, laughed, then huffed

and puffed and blew the house down. The pig, scared witles...

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