Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.
Isn't that a little... excessive?"
"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.
I have an alphabet grenade.
If it goes off, it could spell disaster.
A wife is like a hand grenade.
Remove the ring and your house is gone.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What do you get when you throw a grenade into a French Bathroom?
What's the similarity between a grenade and an STD?
Fire in the hole!
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded
What do you call a lemon grenade?
There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.
When they got back on the ground, they were walking down the street and saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they were, they went up to ask her why she was crying. She said- "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat, and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to here tha...
You are able to cook a grenade
But they should specify that it’s non-microwaveable.
What did the fence builder say when his fence fell down after driving the last pilon into an old buried hand grenade?
Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up!
A grenade got thrown at me, so i took a photo and posted it on Reddit.
Edit: wow this blew up
What happens if you mix a cat and a grenade
What's the difference between a grenade and a wife?
A grenade will only blow your best friend once
Is there any way to put the pin of a grenade back in?
Guys, I'm gonna need a quick answer on this one..
Easiest way to start a rave?
You throw a flash grenade in an epilectic ward.
My obese Ex-wife, Ally, worked in a Californian grenade factory. She got struck by a grenade during her lunch break while covered in sticky urine.
Supper Cali frag a lick stick ex pee Ally dough sus
I was involved in quite a bad explosion the other day.
I was buying a grenade and the woman at the counter said "Can I have your pin please?"
I bought a grenade today...
Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.
99 grenades hanging on the wall, 99 grenades hanging on the wall, and if one grenade was to accidentally fall...
There would be no grenades and no bloody wall!
After an extremely tense argument with my wife, the house was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.
Things got a lot worse, when I saw the grenade flying towards me.
During boot camp training, a young mathematician is instructed to pull the pin of a grenade, count down from three and then throw.
He died by -6.
I made a headset out of grenades
It was mind-blowing
Depressing pickup lines.
Are you suicide? Because I think about you every day.
Are you a toaster? Because I really want to take a bath with you.
Are you a noose? Because I really want to hang with you.
Are you a gravestone? Because I really wish you were on top of me.
Are you anti-...
A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade
, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated.
Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General.
He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the G...
There was a DEA agent who was a stoner on his off-time. His M.O. was that he always smoked weed at or near a dealer's house, and then staged a raid on that house, always with tear gas and smoke grenades. His motto:
First I smoke the joint. Then I smoke the joint.
What do you call a grenade dropped in a church?
A weapon of Mass destruction
Texas A&M got into a battle with the Longhorns and started throwing grenades.
So the Longhorns took the pins out and threw them back.
What do you get when you mix a hog and a hand grenade?
What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade?
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and con...
If I pulled the pin from a grenade,
how long does it take to expl
I saw a man playing with a grenade...
And warned him, "Be careful! It could explode!".
He replied, "Oh don't worry, I've got more of them."
(Told by my dad's friend and just wanted to share)
What is Bill Cosby's favorite type of grenade?
A Flash Bang.
Two Blond men find three grenades
They talk about it and decide to take them to a police station. On the way there one asks:
What happens if one of them explodes?
The other one replied: We’ll just tell them we found two.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...
Corporal Bread is patrolling through the jungle when suddenly his squad gets ambushed. An incendiary grenade lands by his feet and explodes in a ball of flame. Private Panini exclaims, "Is he dead?!"
The sergeant sombrely replies, "He's toast"
"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades"
- probably Helen Keller
Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear
You can actually hear the world getting smarter.
A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:
Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.
I once picked up a grenade in a gun sale, they had knocked off 90% because it was missing a pin or something.
It blew my mind.
How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?
If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.
The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.
Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable explosion.
His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly
Man with a penny, a man with a pole, and a man with a hand grenade
An old joke my cousin told me when we were kids.
A man with a penny gets on an airplane. Once in the air, he drops his penny out of the plane. Later, he goes walking and he sees a little boy crying.
"Little boy, why are you crying?" "A penny fell from the sky and hit me on the hea...
What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?
Everybody gets a piece.
My grandad never used to like throwing things away
He died in WW2 holding onto a hand grenade
An English man, Scottish man and Irish man go to the moon...
Once they get there the English man finds an apple, and the other two bet that he cannot throw it back to earth, he tries and completes his dare. When he gets back to earth he sees a little boy sitting on the side of the road crying. “Why are you crying little boy” asks the English man. “An apple ju...
There were three guys on a plane
The first guy takes a bite out of an apple and says its too sweet. So he throws it out of the plane. The second guy takes a bite out of a lemon and says its to sour. He also throws it out of the plane. The third guy takes a bite of a grenade and says its too hard. So he too throws it out of t...
An Englishman, a Russian and a Greek guy are on the same flight, sitting next to eachother
When they are flying over England, the Englishman says, "England is the best country, check out how well they handle this." he drops a sword out of the window.
When they are flying over Russia, the Russian says, "Mother Russia is the best country, look how efficiently we deal with this." he ...