How do you put the pin back in a Grenade?

Quick answers please.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people

Then the grenade exploded

Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.

Isn't that a little... excessive?"

"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.

When they got back on the ground, they were walking down the street and saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they were, they went up to ask her why she was crying.
She said- "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat, and now my cat is dead."
The men said they were very sorry to here tha...

What do you get when you throw a French grenade into a kitchen?

Linoleum Blown Apart

You are able to cook a grenade

But they should specify that it’s non-microwaveable.

What did the fence builder say when his fence fell down after driving the last pilon into an old buried hand grenade?

Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up!

What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

You pull off the ring and then your house is gone

Wives are like hand grenades...

Take off the ring and say goodbye to your house.

What do women and grenades have in common?

Take the ring off and the house is gone

A grenade got thrown at me, so i took a photo and posted it on Reddit.

Edit: wow this blew up

What happens if you mix a cat and a grenade

Caboom

What to do if blonde girl throws a grenade at you?

Take off the pin and throw it back

My obese Ex-wife, Ally, worked in a Californian grenade factory. She got struck by a grenade during her lunch break while covered in sticky urine.

Supper Cali frag a lick stick ex pee Ally dough sus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

During boot camp training, a young mathematician is instructed to pull the pin of a grenade, count down from three and then throw.

He died by -6.

What's the difference between a grenade and a wife?

A grenade will only blow your best friend once

I bought a grenade today...

Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.

Is there any way to put the pin of a grenade back in?

Guys, I'm gonna need a quick answer on this one..

There was a DEA agent who was a stoner on his off-time. His M.O. was that he always smoked weed at or near a dealer's house, and then staged a raid on that house, always with tear gas and smoke grenades. His motto:

First I smoke the joint. Then I smoke the joint.

I made a headset out of grenades

It was mind-blowing

Texas A&M got into a battle with the Longhorns and started throwing grenades.

So the Longhorns took the pins out and threw them back.

99 grenades hanging on the wall, 99 grenades hanging on the wall, and if one grenade was to accidentally fall...

There would be no grenades and no bloody wall!

What do you get when you mix a hog and a hand grenade?

Bacon bits.

An Englishman, a Russian and a Greek guy are on the same flight, sitting next to eachother

When they are flying over England, the Englishman says, "England is the best country, check out how well they handle this." he drops a sword out of the window.

When they are flying over Russia, the Russian says, "Mother Russia is the best country, look how efficiently we deal with this." he ...

A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade

, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated.

Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General.

He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the G...

What fruit was used the most in World War II

The pineapple grenade

What do you call a grenade dropped in a church?

A weapon of Mass destruction

After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.

My grandad never used to like throwing things away

He died in WW2 holding onto a hand grenade

I saw a man playing with a grenade...

And warned him, "Be careful! It could explode!".


He replied, "Oh don't worry, I've got more of them."


(Told by my dad's friend and just wanted to share)

What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade?

Abominable.

An English man, Scottish man and Irish man go to the moon...

Once they get there the English man finds an apple, and the other two bet that he cannot throw it back to earth, he tries and completes his dare. When he gets back to earth he sees a little boy sitting on the side of the road crying. “Why are you crying little boy” asks the English man. “An apple ju...

What is Bill Cosby's favorite type of grenade?

A Flash Bang.

Two Blond men find three grenades

They talk about it and decide to take them to a police station. On the way there one asks:

What happens if one of them explodes?

The other one replied:
We’ll just tell them we found two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being late in war is a bad thing

So this guy joins the army, is always the last one for everything. Gets to the armory for his rifle and they tell him they ran out, the guy hands him a broomstick and the private asks “what am I going to do with this?” Gunny looks at him and says “just say bang bang bang every time you shoot”.
<...

Corporal Bread is patrolling through the jungle when suddenly his squad gets ambushed. An incendiary grenade lands by his feet and explodes in a ball of flame. Private Panini exclaims, "Is he dead?!"

The sergeant sombrely replies, "He's toast"

The Chicago Bears new quarterback.

The Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new quarterback. With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Bears signed him immedi...

I once picked up a grenade in a gun sale, they had knocked off 90% because it was missing a pin or something.

It blew my mind.

How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?

If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.

There were three guys on a plane

The first guy takes a bite out of an apple and says its too sweet. So he throws it out of the plane.
The second guy takes a bite out of a lemon and says its to sour. He also throws it out of the plane.
The third guy takes a bite of a grenade and says its too hard. So he too throws it out of t...

The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.

Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable explosion.

His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Rangers, the Marines and the Police were doing training...

They all were out in the forest and the secretary of defense said "Listen up, your objective today is go out into the woods and bring me back a rabbit".

The Rangers went first, moving quickly and quietly through the trees. Within 5 minutes they brought back a little white rabbit unharmed....

What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you?

Run like hell - he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

I tried to translate a joke from Canadian

Did you hear about the war between Nova Scotia and Newfoundland?. ? The newfies were throwing grenades the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back

Man with a penny, a man with a pole, and a man with a hand grenade

An old joke my cousin told me when we were kids.

A man with a penny gets on an airplane. Once in the air, he drops his penny out of the plane. Later, he goes walking and he sees a little boy crying.

"Little boy, why are you crying?"
"A penny fell from the sky and hit me on the hea...

"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades"

- probably Helen Keller

Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear

You can actually hear the world getting smarter.

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:

Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.

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