The 21+ Best Grenade Jokes

A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade

, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated.

Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General.

He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the G...

When you pull a pin out of a grenade, how do you put it back?

Urgent and quick answers, plea

Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade

Then the grenade exploded.

Why would a flash bang grenade be ineffective on Helen Keller?

Because she's dead.

What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

You pull off the ring and then your house is gone

There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.

When they got back on the ground they were walking down the street and they saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they are they went up to ask her why she was crying she said: "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to hear that and wa...

What do you call a grenade in a French kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart

What do you get when you hand a Frenchman a live grenade and then shove him into a kitchen?

Linoleum Blownaparte

I have an alphabet grenade.

If it goes off, it could spell disaster.

What is the difference between a marriage and a hand grenade?

>!None!!<

>!If you pull off the ring the house is gone...!<

Is it possible to stop a grenade from exploding by putting the pin back in?

I need a quick answer to this question

You are able to cook a grenade

But they should specify that it’s non-microwaveable.

Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.

Isn't that a little... excessive?"

"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hand Grenade Sale

One day a man was walking down the street with his wife, and his wife’s boyfriend.

As they were walking they happened upon a flea market, with tons of booths setup selling all kinds of goods. Each booth had a sign above with the items they were selling.

Hand made blankets 2 for 10$...

What did the fence builder say when his fence fell down after driving the last pilon into an old buried hand grenade?

Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up!

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a French Bathroom?

linoleon Blownaparte.

99 grenades hanging on the wall, 99 grenades hanging on the wall, and if one grenade was to accidentally fall...

There would be no grenades and no bloody wall!

I saw a man playing with a grenade...

And warned him, "Be careful! It could explode!".

He replied, "Oh don't worry, I've got more of them."

(Told by my dad's friend and just wanted to share)

What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade?

Abominable.

What's the difference between a grenade and a wife?

You have to pull the ring out of a grenade, to make it blow a bunch of other guys.

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