There were three guys in an airplane. One guy dropped a rock, another dropped a brick, and the last dropped a grenade.
When they got back on the ground, they were walking down the street and saw a woman crying. Being the gentlemen they were, they went up to ask her why she was crying. She said- "A rock fell from the sky, landed on my cat, and now my cat is dead." The men said they were very sorry to here tha...
Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.
Isn't that a little... excessive?"
"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
I have an alphabet grenade.
If it goes off, it could spell disaster.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded
What do you get when you throw a grenade into a French Bathroom?
What's the similarity between a grenade and an STD?
Fire in the hole!
You are able to cook a grenade
But they should specify that it’s non-microwaveable.
What do you call a lemon grenade?
My grandfather never threw anything away. Bless him.
He even died, holding onto a grenade in the war.
What did the fence builder say when his fence fell down after driving the last pilon into an old buried hand grenade?
Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up!
What's the difference between a grenade and a wife?
A grenade will only blow your best friend once
Three Guys are on an private jet when the pilot says they need to lighten their load.
They all agree to drop one item each. The first man drops an empty briefcase, the second man drops a beach towel, and the third man drops a live grenade. The flight continues as normal and the three men decide to visit the area where they dropped their items to see if any damage was done.
World War II, occupied Poland - three partisans who survived a firefight run into a village, fleeing a Wehrmacht squad. Exhausted, they stop by a well...
"They've surrounded the village" one of them says. "There's no way out, sarge!"
"Let's hide in the well" the sergeant responds. "We can hold on to the bucket and brace ourselves against the top walls. Just remember, if anyone comes near, we have to act like the echo, or they'll get suspic...
A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade
, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated.
Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General.
He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the G...
Is there any way to put the pin of a grenade back in?
Guys, I'm gonna need a quick answer on this one..
My obese Ex-wife, Ally, worked in a Californian grenade factory. She got struck by a grenade during her lunch break while covered in sticky urine.
Supper Cali frag a lick stick ex pee Ally dough sus
99 grenades hanging on the wall, 99 grenades hanging on the wall, and if one grenade was to accidentally fall...
There would be no grenades and no bloody wall!
I bought a grenade today...
Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.
During boot camp training, a young mathematician is instructed to pull the pin of a grenade, count down from three and then throw.
He died by -6.
I made a headset out of grenades
It was mind-blowing
One the plus side,
I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades. - Helen Keller.
There was a DEA agent who was a stoner on his off-time. His M.O. was that he always smoked weed at or near a dealer's house, and then staged a raid on that house, always with tear gas and smoke grenades. His motto:
First I smoke the joint. Then I smoke the joint.
Depressing pickup lines.
Are you suicide? Because I think about you every day.
Are you a toaster? Because I really want to take a bath with you.
Are you a noose? Because I really want to hang with you.
Are you a gravestone? Because I really wish you were on top of me.
Are you anti-...
Texas A&M got into a battle with the Longhorns and started throwing grenades.
So the Longhorns took the pins out and threw them back.
What do you get when you mix a hog and a hand grenade?
If I pulled the pin from a grenade,
how long does it take to expl
I saw a man playing with a grenade...
And warned him, "Be careful! It could explode!".
He replied, "Oh don't worry, I've got more of them."
(Told by my dad's friend and just wanted to share)
What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade?
What is Bill Cosby's favorite type of grenade?
A Flash Bang.
I was involved in quite a bad explosion the other day.
I was buying a grenade and the woman at the counter said "Can I have your pin please?"
Two Blond men find three grenades
They talk about it and decide to take them to a police station. On the way there one asks:
What happens if one of them explodes?
The other one replied: We’ll just tell them we found two.
Corporal Bread is patrolling through the jungle when suddenly his squad gets ambushed. An incendiary grenade lands by his feet and explodes in a ball of flame. Private Panini exclaims, "Is he dead?!"
The sergeant sombrely replies, "He's toast"
I once picked up a grenade in a gun sale, they had knocked off 90% because it was missing a pin or something.
It blew my mind.
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and con...
How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?
If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.
What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?
Everybody gets a piece.
Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear
You can actually hear the world getting smarter.
A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:
Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave.
The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.
Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable explosion.
His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...
Man with a penny, a man with a pole, and a man with a hand grenade
An old joke my cousin told me when we were kids.
A man with a penny gets on an airplane. Once in the air, he drops his penny out of the plane. Later, he goes walking and he sees a little boy crying.
"Little boy, why are you crying?" "A penny fell from the sky and hit me on the hea...