UPJOKE
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What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?

Knee on yellow.

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

What makes a good tongue-twister?

Well, it's hard to say...

Some quantum physicists play twister at a party

Later that day, one of them spontaneously flattens and three seconds later the other is hit by a car: they were still entangled.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

The world’s shortest tongue twister (which is kind of a joke right?) - the minimum 2 words long

Irish Wristwatch

Just pissed a lot of people off at work with this one

I was with a group of friends when one of them suggested we play Twister. This person knows I'm not a fan of Twister.

I hate being put in an awkward position.

'Twister kills fifteen in Kansas'

Anybody else think the Americans may be playing it wrong.

The inventor of Twister has died...

...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

The tongue twister...

The wife asks her husband:

-Hey, do you know any tongue twisters?

-Yes, penis.

-Penis? thats not a tongue twisfhndnfasdfnghfgh

I read in an American newspaper last night "15 die in twister"...

...I don't think you're playing it right.

The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident.

He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry

I was wondering how close the twister was...

The answer blew me away

Im writing a stage show based on the movie Twister

Ive gotten as far as the first draft

Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister?

Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.

Girl: I'm having a party at my house, we're playing Truth or Dare and Twister, can you come?

Guy: I already did.

Apparently they have increased the difficulty level of the "She sells sea shells" tongue twister in a newer version

The seller lives in Seychelles.

Race Horse Joke/tongue twister

One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I gave my girlfriend a titty twister that ruined her bra...

Now whose tired of hearing about the whirled cup?

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

What do a texas twister and a texas divorce have in common???????????????

Either way the trailer gets split in half.

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Texas?????

because if it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you call a tornado filled with boobs?

A titty twister.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A slip of the tongue

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.

He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy say...

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A man gets on an airplane with a black eye...

Soon another man sits down next to him with a black eye. The first man says, "Hello this is kind of strange, but I noticed you have a black eye too...how did you get it?"

The other guy says , "Well it's kind of a tongue twister...I was standing in line to get my ticket and the girl at the de...

I have a tongue twister for all to try, I learnt this when I was a fifteen year old kid, I can still pull it off to a tee..

I'm not the Pheasant plucker, I'm the Pheasant pluckers mate.

I'm only plucking Pheasants because the Pheasant pluckers late.

Good Luck..

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you call going down on a woman with large labia?

A tongue twister.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I went on a vacation to Taiwan...

I asked around for tourist attractions

A peculiar man came up to me, inquiring about some \*discount\* sex shop

When in Taiwan, am I right? Needless to say I was intrigued.

He said to me, "go down to da beach,

aska bout da tongue twister packege

my friend will mak...

A friend of mine tried telling a joke about a tornado...

It was a real tongue twister.

What is a chameleon's worst enemy?

A tongue twister

What do you call four famished frogs fighting for five frightened flies?

A *Tongue Twister*

~~Edit: How to change tags? Did not tag when posting this; why is it automatically tagged 'Religion'?~~

Edit 2: Thank you u/ElderCunningham for fixing the tag for me. Thank you u/mountorange and u/vphov1 for getting in before that change and letting me know about the...

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

What’s the least popular party game in the Midwest?

Twister

My 7 year old's first comeback line

My son has asd and though he loves to read jokes and tries to understand why they are funny, introducing wit to him has been difficult. It was more of a surprise than a joke but here goes.

We recently moved to India and my wife is missing outdoors and Europe and today she said - oh I really w...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and starts reading the news on his Iphone.

"Wow, 'Twister kills 15 in Oklahoma!" the guy says. "They take that game very seriously there," the bartender replies.

What is a trailer park's favorite game?

Twister

In and Out

(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)

Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.

One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and O...

Three women are on death row in Utah...

...and about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready.....Aim....." Suddenly the brunette yells, "Hurricane!!" Everyone is star...

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