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I entered ten puns into a pun contest

I was hoping at least one would win, and in fact seven did. The prize was that they would be published in the local paper.

A week after they were published, I was contacted by a huge publisher that said they liked my puns so much that they offered to pay me an advance to write a book of puns!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old farmer is sitting on his porch...

when a young man pulls up in a car and says, "Excuse me, sir. I notice you have milkweed growing in your field, may I get some milk?" The old fellow chuckles to himself and says "You can't get milk from milkweed young man." The young man says, "I think I can sir, if you'll let me try." The farmer...

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A horse, a dog and a snake line up for a race...

The horse said to the snake "How do you possibly think you'll be able to outrun me?" The snake replied "I don't plan to. I will win using my gut." The horse scoffed and took his position.

The whistle blew and off they went. The horse charged down the field and into the distance. The dog was s...

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