UPJOKE
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Fences Jokes

I'm pretty bad at building fences

Oops, wrong place for this post.

A man's fence is broken and he neess to hire someone to fix it

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to los...

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Fences around cemeteries

Why do they put fences around cemeteries?

People are dying to get in!

2 farmers are checking their fences for intruders

1st farmer finds a cow stuck in a post...proceeds to unbuckle his pants and violates the cow....then turns to the 2nd farmer and asks " u want some??" ..2nd farmer answers and says"yeah sure".....



Then sticks his head in the same post....

Software architects should never design high security fences.

They’re likely to make them highly scalable.

Sandy, an 18 year old boy, desperately wants a car.

However, his mother forcibly tells him no. Sandy, undeterred, decides to get a job to pay. He applies for many jobs, ranging from a mechanic to delivering newspapers. However, he is not accepted for any of them. Slowly, he gives up on his dream of buying a car.

Weeks later, Sandy tells his mo...

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because everyone is dying to get in.


In memory of my Uncle David RIP. He would always tell this joke

There's something I love about electric fences

But I can't put my finger on it

Did you know fences make good neighbors

And bad neighbors make good fertilizer.

What do repaired fences and Reddit have in common?

They're both full of reposts.

So I heard Microsoft is making smart fences now...

The main problem is they Bill Gates.

The husband was ready for the last major hurricane to threaten their home, but his wife was not.

When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, his wife was rooted to the spot.

She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with...

In an alternate reality where fences are females and posts are male...

A teenage post teases that his friend is taking another post to prom. The friend says, "Hey! I take a fence to that!"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are asked by an official for quotes to paint the fences of Buckingham Palace.

The Englishman takes out a measuring tape and calculator, makes some notes and reports back to the man, “I’ll do it for £800. £200 for materials, £400 for the team and £200 profit for me.”

The Irishman looks at the house, looks at the Englishman, and says, “I can do it for £700...£200 for mat...

I'm really good at telling old jokes, and fixing fences...

I guess I'm just good at reposting

When cows jump over barbed wire fences....

there is udder destruction!

See the top 10 electric fences YOU should use!

Number 7 will SHOCK you!

My friend is a zookeeper who fell ill after cleaning fences from the small marsupial exhibit.

The moral of the story is quokka caca get down with the sickness.

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