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Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

paranoid fantasies

A woman is laying on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist says, "I want to talk about these paranoid fantasies you've been having of being stalked by a man who is disguising himself as furniture. How long have you been having these delusions?"
The woman says, "About 5 months."
...

A genie grants three wishes to an old lady.

She says, "I want to be young again."

\*poof\*

She's young again.

"I want my little house to be turned into a beautiful mansion."

\*poof\*

She's now living in a beautiful mansion.

"I want my cat to be turned into a handsome young man!"

\*poof\*
...

A mathematician and an engineer play a game to get laid…

At the other end of this room,” the Game Master points out, “is a beautiful, young, naked, consenting woman. If you reach her, she will fulfill any and all of your fantasies.”

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

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I thought my sexual fantasies were weird...

... untill I heard my neighbour say to his wife, "Climb up that bookshelf, and jump on my dick baby."

My husband has weird fantasies

Like being loyal

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Over the course of my life my sexual fantasies have been getting more and more perverse.

But it wasn't till I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom.

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I'm having sexual fantasies about sleeping with my boss.

Only problem is I'm self-employed.

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A guy asks his friend why he wants to become rich so badly

The friend says, "Simply so I can indulge my sexual fantasies..."

And he goes, "Jesus, from what you've told me I figured you're more on the vanilla side."

His friend replies, "Oh, I am."

Confused, the guy asks, "Then why do need to be rich to pay for normal sex?"

So his ...

An Air Force Colonel is about to commence briefing his soldiers.

Most of them are standing there naked wondering how they were convinced to play out one of their commander’s fantasies.

Wife: "Oh Honey, what would you do without me?"

Me: "realistically or in my fantasies?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife said my New Year resolution needs to be to have more romance and sex

As a good husband I booked an expensive suite for a long weekend in a posh hotel. I got dressed up, bought some sexy lingerie for her and some cosplay outfits. Got some viagra so I could perform all night long.

Romantic dinner on a French restaurant, candle light dinner and was amazing. She w...

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