Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

My husband has weird fantasies

Like being loyal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Over the course of my life my sexual fantasies have been getting more and more perverse.

But it wasn't till I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom.

A Man...

A Man is stopped by an Old Woman who was holding out seeds and says "take these seeds and you will be on your way to success."
The man takes the seeds and plants them, going to sleep and waking up the next day to find the seeds have sprouted into a gigantic tree. A booking voice rings out from ab...

[Long] A woman walks into a pet shop

When looking around she sees a terrarium with a sign reading "Naughty frogs". Asking the shop owner what is special about them he replies: "They will make your fantasies come true. Put him on the bed, light up some candles, kiss him and let the magic begin."
"What if it doesn't work?"
"No prob...

An Air Force Colonel is about to commence briefing his soldiers.

Most of them are standing there naked wondering how they were convinced to play out one of their commander’s fantasies.

I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real...

like how she got a job right out of college.

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3 couples participated in an experiment about orgasms.

Each couple was shown a room with a bed full of sensors. Above the door leading into each room, was a special meter, akin to a speedometer, able to indicate up to 100.

So first round, couples do their routine stuff, and go see their meters. 20, 40, 60. There was a locked door however, the met...

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I'm having sexual fantasies about sleeping with my boss.

Only problem is I'm self-employed.

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A man and his wife visit Las Vegas for their 15th anniversary. Being the spontaneous couple they always have been the husband decides that their first night he will do all the planning.

They go out a fancy steak dinner and he pays extra to have the band sing their wedding song tableside and serenade his wife. She melts.

He then takes her to a magic show and pays extra to have her involved in the main act as the woman who disappears within the act. She is beaming with joy....

I love Trump. He has come closest to turning my Video Game fantasies into stark reality.

Whelp, better prepare for the *fallout* from this unpopular opinion....

Wife: "Oh Honey, what would you do without me?"

Me: "realistically or in my fantasies?"

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The apple of your dreams.

One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.”
“We...

A horse and a chick are playing in a meadow...

After a time, the horse gets stuck in the mud. Frantic, he tells the chick to run to the farm and get the farmer to pull him out.

The chick runs as fast as her little legs will carry her and reaches the farm to find the farmer is nowhere to be seen. She finds an open window into the farmhous...

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