What do you call a successfull mirage?

An *optimal* illusion

I was going for a walk in the desert in Afghanistan.

Off in the distance I saw what I thought was a mirage but as I got closer I could see it's wasn't a mirage, Israel.

It was two men arguing, so I tried to calm the situation down but they turned against me. The one man threw Iraq, so Iran all the way home.

Agitated by the encounter I t...

A man woke up lost in the desert.

He didn’t know how he got there but he knew if he didn’t find water asap he will die, he was thirsty tired and close to a heat stroke as he walked the vast deserted land looking for water.

Miles and miles into his journey he spotted a person in the middle of the desert, thinking it might be ...

A dangerous pun...

Two Mexicans got lost in the desert.

Juan says to Miguel.

'look, Miguel, it is a bacon tree!'

'Don't be silly Juan it is a mirage, do not waste your energy!'

'miguel, I am so thirsty and hungry I must go and investigate,'

As Juan approaches two men jump out and sho...

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[NSFW] [Long] Three men are stranded in the middle of the desert. Each one of them is starving, thirsty, and desperate to get home...

As they trudge through the endless desert, one of them spots a small cottage in the distance with scrap metal and junk all around it. He told the others and they all thought it was just a mirage. But as they drew near the cottage, they learned that it was very real.

They all get excited. C...

You're lost in the desert, in the distance you see a figure. Starships starts playing

It's Nicki Mirage

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States...

Wandering aimlessly and starving, They are about to lie down and accept their death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune,...

What do you call a threesome in an oasis?

A Mirage à trois.

Two men are lost in the desert

Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.

He...

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The Tale of the Bacon Tree

Two guys are lost in the desert, wandering in the hot sun, starving and dying of thirst. They're about to lie down and give up when all of a sudden one of them says, "H..H...Hey...do you smell bacon?"

The other one says, "Yeah...I do smell bacon. What is that?"

So the two gather their ...

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert...

Juan and Pedro running from the policía soon became lost in the desert for weeks, despite plenty of water, they were out of food!
With the sun beating down on them, things were looking grim...
"Juan, if we no find food soon we'll starve!"
"Si Pedro, the hunger hurts too much...!"
"Oh Ju...

Two Mexican Brothers

So two brothers, Ramon and Emelio, escape from a prison deep in the Mexican desert. They run for days and days through the hot and and the heat begins to take its toll. They are getting hungrier and thirstier and, all in all, more and more exhausted.
Suddenly, Ramon collapses. He looks up, reach...

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Two genies in a deserted house..

A guy gets lost in a desert and stumbles upon a house smack bang in the middle of the desert. After ascertaining that it wasn't a mirage, he enters the house and sees three doors and a lamp at the entrance of the house.

He rubs it and out pop two genies, who are very grateful and decide to gr...

A Man Was Lost In The Desert

A man was lost in the desert for days and days and days and was crawling on his hands and knees. He had heat stroke, sun stroke, everything stroke and in maybe a few minutes he would be dead.

In the distance he saw a mirage, he thought. He saw someone coming towards him but he hadn't seen an...

a young lady in a purity group is on a flight that crashes in the desert...

as she's wandering she sees an oasis off the horizon! as she's running to it she comes across two men.



they speak little English but understand enough to know what happened to her. so, one of the men offers her his canteen of water.


she says "oh bless you! but I ...

Two explorers are lost in the desert...

...they're dying of thirst, and have been wandering for days. Finally, off in the far distance, they see a camp of beautiful tents. Hoping that it is not a mirage, they crawl desperately towards it. On arriving, they find that it's a market. They stagger up to the first tent they see, and say to the...

The two mexicans, lost in the mexican desert..

Juan and Pablo had been wandering aimlessly around the mexican desert for three days now. Without food and water their hopes of finding civilisation were fading fast.. When through the mirage they sight a bacon tree!

The tree meant food, water and shelter so the two began running towards the ...

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The corniest dirty joke ever

There are three guys lost in the desert. They have been wandering around for weeks, and are somehow still alive, yet they are on the brink of death. They crawl over a sand dune and all stop, staring into the distance with their mouths agape.

"Do you see that?" the first guy says. "Yup," the o...

Two men are stranded in a desert, dying of dehydration.

Finding no salvation anywhere, they kept walking, and eventually saw something on the horizon.

Initially, they thought it to be a mirage, a hallucination brought on by their dehydration. But as they got closer, it became apparent that it was not a mirage, but instead a marketplace. They deci...

Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."

As Carlos and J...

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Hot buttered corn

Three guys have been walking thru the desert for 2 days. They are dehydrated, they are hungry, and they are tired.
One man believes he sees a house in the distance. They all accuse him of seeing a mirage until they all get a little closer and realize there is a house all alone in the middle of t...

What happens if you put a mirror in a garage?

A mirage!

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