My mate and I robbed a bank. The cops chasing us were under the illusion that we were dressed as animals.
Every few seconds they kept shouting "Furries!"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My girlfriend caught me jerking off to an optical illusion. I said, "babe it's not what it looks like!".
Have you ever heard of the illusion of choice?
Never mind, of course you have.
Recently I've been learning how to draw optical illusions so I can surprise my girlfriend with one on her birthday.
Unfortunately she walked in and caught me practicing the other day.
Her: "What's that!"
Me: "I can explain...it's not what it looks like!"
Did you hear about the magician that only performed illusions with chocolate?
He always had a few Twix up his sleeves.
Why were Loki's powers centered around creating illusions?
It allows him to be low-key with his mischiefs.
Every single currency in this world is just an illusion, a social construct
but Brazil's real.
My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with optical illusions.
I told her, "Wait! This isn't what you think it is!"
What do you call a man who gives a woman the illusion of entitlement?
What do you call a successfull mirage?
An *optimal* illusion
A man went searching for the perfect joke...
He went to the best comedy clubs in his city and listened for days. He heard some great things, but nothing he could call perfect.
He journeyed to Hollywood, and tracked down the best comedic actors and screenwriters. Each one, eager for the honor of creating the perfect jok...
A down on his luck magician takes a job on a cruise ship
and the captain has a parrot. Every time the magician does a trick the parrot squawks out the secret "Raawwwt he hid it in his sleeve" or "He's hidden behind the mirror. He's hidden behind the mirror Raaaaawttt!" thus always ruining the illusion.
One day the ship sinks and the magician finds ...
What do Telltale Games & the U.S. have in common?
The illusion of choice.
A magician performs on a cruise
A magician is performing on a cruise when one of the rich clients comes in with her pet parrot. He disappears one of the assistants from the stage and the parrot inmediately explains how it was done. Infuriated, he asks the woman to leave the premises.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry". She says. "My ...
When I was little I wanted to be a magician, but I don't anymore.
I lost my illusions.
GOB Bluth started his own school for young magicians
For the second class, he decided to teach the children some of the classic transformation illusions. He showed them flowers-to-doves, doves-to-rabbits, and rabbits-to-carp.
Then he showed them carp-to-rats and his most enthusiastic student asked, "Does it have to be carp and rats, Uncle GOB? ...
A mime once nearly had me convinced that a wall was actually there...
...but it was just an obstacle illusion.
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Holmes and Watson go out camping.
Sherlock Holmes and his good friend Dr. Watson decide to make a trip to the countryside and go camping.
In the middle of the night, Sherlock wakes up Watson and asks him:
"John, look up at the sky. What do you see?"
Watson, still sleepy, slowly arranges his thoughts: "The... ...
A magic show...
Two friends, Bob and Hank, are watching a magician perform. Mildly amused by the standard tricks and illusions they have seen so far, their attention perks up when they see the beautiful assistant come out from behind the curtain for the “saw the lady in half” trick. As she is climbing into the box,...