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Imagination Jokes

School students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructions also advise that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings.

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they...

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Susie went to the church wearing a see-through top leaving almost nothing to imagination..

After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " I don't want you to come to church wearing such a dress"

Susie cried " but I have a divine right"

Priest " you have a divine left too " looking at her dress " but still you can't come dressed like that " .

A burglar broke into a home…

He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you."

Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

Again, "Jesus is watching you."

He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.

The parro...

What do you call an adult with an imagination?

Schizophrenic.

One hobbit asks another: "Don't you feel like we're just a figment of someone's imagination?"

"Mate I have no idea what you're tolkien about"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady goes to the doctor for help with her sex life...

Doctor: Give your husband viagra.

Lady: I can't, he hates pills.

Doctor: Just put it in his coffee.

Next week she returns, unhappy.

Doctor: Was it good?

Lady: It was the worst sex I ever had. He had a few sips of coffee, then he pushed everything off the table and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always wonder if people jerk off to their own imagination

That’s food for thought

My doctor said I lacked an imagination

I couldn’t believe it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms ...

Have you heard about the dyslexic who was working too hard on his imagination skills?

He ended up in Santa Fe.

A Joke my kid told me

A guy goes to buy a notebook at the stationery shop. He finds a good one wrapped in plastic for $10, so he takes it up to the counter. The cashier rings it up, but tells the guy no matter what, not to look at the last page. The guy thinks it’s an odd thing to say, but pays the $10 and takes the note...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Women are discussing their sex life.

- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it’s going to be when it’s ready.

Sisters

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 mi.’

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign tha...

My wife accused me of being immature and having an overactive imagination...

Well, what does she know, she's just a smurf.

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