A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting!" thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself!

Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry on bag and began penciling in the answers.

"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords!"

It crossed his mind that if ...

A comedian's fan offered him a joint

Not wanting to disappoint his fans, he accepted it. He almost finished the drive to his lodging when a police officer stopped his car.

The officer asked him, "Have you been drinking?" The comedian denied doing so.

The officer then asked, "Is that marijuana I smell?"

The comedi...

I’m a big fan of Eye jokes,

The cornea the better

A Star Trek fan meets William Shatner.

"Wow. I can't believe I'm meeting you at Comic Corn."

"Actually, it's called Comic Con"

"Com?"

"Con."

"Cold?"

"Com!

"Cookie?"

"CONNNNNNNN!"

A fan walks into a bar, turns to the bartender and...

then back to the door, then to the bartender and back to the door...

Two 95 year old men, Jack and Sam, are huge baseball fans.

One day, Jack falls seriously ill, and doesn’t have long to live. Sam visits him in the hospital to say goodbye. Sam asks him a favor before he passes.

“Hey Jack, when you get to heaven, can you see if there is baseball there? If there is, tell me.”

“I can certainly try, for my best fr...

Two windmills are in a field.

One windmill says to the other, "What type of music do you like?"

The other windmill replies, "Well I'm a big metal fan"

What did the nirvana fan say to the sandwich shop guy?

Make me one with everything.

Why do Trekkies make bad sports fans?

They are always rooting for the Away Team.

@lotr fans: What do you call a female Ent?

An Entity

What do you call a monkey that's a fan of The Office?

A Jim-Pam-zee.

When I was a young, I loved basketball and was a huge Michael Jordan fan. But I wasn't sure if I had enough talent to become a pro player. Until one day I saw this huge poster. In the poster Jordan points at me and the caption reads "JUST DO IT". I got tears in my eyes and decided "I will do IT! ".

That's how I became a web developer.

A fight breaks out between Xbox One and PS4 fans. Someone calls the cops. What sound does the siren make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my friends from Beijing is a huge Taylor Swift fan and asked me to suggest an album of her..

I told him to search for T.S.1989..

haven't heard from him ever since...

Fans would do anything for their celeb

Some would even blow them

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I'm a fan of masturbation

When you're alone, it cums in handy.

I'm not a fan of Thomas Cook.

They're just not Going Places.

I invented a small fan that fits in your ear.

It’s mind-blowing.

Why are most on reddit ghostbusters fans?

Because they ain't afraid of no post.

Turned on the radio to hear "Shallow". I'm not a fan so switched stations and got "Bad Romance". I also don't like that so tried a third station and got "Poker Face".

It seems that, all I hear is radio Gaga.

What do public interest lawyers and U2 fans have in common?

They’re pro Bono.

What do you call a person who used to be a fan of farm machinery?

An ex-tractor fan

What does the wind turbine say to the power plant?

I’m your biggest fan!

I'm a big fan of Karl Marx's books, and if that makes me a communist;

Then So vie It

A Manchester United fan, Liverpool fan and an Everton fan were caught drinking in Saudi Arabia....

An Everton fan, a Liverpool fan and a Manchester United fan were all in Saudi Arabia drinking a smuggled crate of booze.

All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.

For their punishment the Saudi Arabia Sheik decided that the punishment should be 20 lashes with a whip....

A comedian didn't want to disappoint his fans

A comedian didn't want to disappoint his fans, so when a couple asked if he wanted to smoke a joint with them after the show, he said sure.On the drive home, he noticed flashing lights behind him and pulled over.The officer came to the window and asked if he'd been drinking. The comedian said he had...

My Mum is R.Kellys Biggest Fan

Mum: “I really love R.Kelly, he’s ahead of the game”

Me: “Yeah, his music is fantastic, I just hate him as a person, I can’t believe all the disgusting things he’s done”

Mum: “he’s a musician?”

How do you know your heart is your biggest fan?

It’s always so pumped for you.

Did you know Elvis was a big fan of Chicken Strips?

He even wrote a song about them called “Love Me Tender”.

I got to meet all my fans last night

It was pretty cool

I hate when celebrities don’t interact with their fans

Like the other I day I was waving at Stevie Wonder and he just kept walking

I'm not a fan of chairs...

...they go against everything I stand for.

I've never been a fan of the song 'Hey Jude' by the Beatles.

The ending is just too salty.

Why are people from Michigan such big fans of the Lion King?

They get to see lions winning for a change.

How does a 49er fan change a light bulb?

He doesn't he just talks about how great it use to be

I used to be a fan of tractors

I’m an extractor-fan

What does a blind Eminem fan say when they notice a typo in braille?

"Something is wrong, I can feel it."

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I fucking hate one direction fans.

I like the ones that oscillate back and forth.

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My doctor said to me he'll be with me through thick and thin, even when shit hits the fan

Needless to say he's a good gastroenterologist

My friend recently got divorced because his wife was a bulls fan and he was a pistons fan

When I asked him how that could possibly affect their relationship, he replied, "Hey, at least it lasted longer than Derrick Rose's prime."

I suddenly understood why his wife was the one who wanted the divorce.

If you ever wonder what kind of music windmills like

I can guarantee you that they are huge metal fans

I bought a high-powered industrial fan today.

I was blown away by how well it worked.

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I was a big metal fan back in high school.

Back in high school I was a big metal fan.

At the beginning of the summer holidays I was at this awesome house party.

It was just high school kids in the house so we were able to turn the volume way up and had a pretty awesome playlist: Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Mai...

There was a man who was a massive tractor fan

Absolutely huge, he loved tractors more than anything in the world. But one day after an unfortunate accident he could no longer ride his favourite tractors. A few years later he was coming home from the bar with his friends to find his house filled with smoke. He took one big breath and blew all th...

Do you want to hear my impression of an Extractor Fan?

I used to really like Tractors...

If you think I'm a big Supertramp fan..

you should take a look at my girlfriend!

How did the Star Wars fan spend Valentine's Day?

Solo.

2 windmills were talking to each other

Windmill 1: what kind of music do you like?

Windmill 2: im just a metal fan really

My dad was watches every Angels games. He's been a fan since way back...

...back when they were still humans.

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight...

I wouldn’t spend so much time on Reddit.

Rihanna is now a fan of the Kansas City Royals.

They don't beat anyone.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus.

He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says “that is Mother Teresa’s clock it has never moved because she has never lied”.
“There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He had lied twice so it has moved twice.”
“Where is Donald Trump’s?” Asked the man.
Jesus answers “it is in m...

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I was watching this animal instructor show off this monkey. The monkey began acting up, and that's when shit hit the fan.

Even the janitor refused to clean up the mess...

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It was hot today, so I dragged a box fan from the basement and lifted it into a window to suck the warm air out of the house.

It was exhausting.

I went to a fan convention

It was very interesting with a large range of fans, including metal, plastic and even wooden. Quite Frankly, I was blown away

Blind Date: Sooo i’m a huge country fan

Me: (*trying to impress her*)
I know China is an incredibly huge country.

You know I gotta say, I’m a big fan of shields.

They’re really something I can get behind.

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A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

Did you know Sean Connery is a massive fan of onions?

Yeah, apparently he likesh them shallot

I was really not of fan of body hair.

It's grown on me, though.

I'm not really a big fan of boat puns

But frigate

A young boy who was a fan of tractors

There once was a young boi who loved tractors as he worked on his fathers farm. They had a green one, a blue one, a red, nearly every colour if tractor, big and small.

But one day as the boy was working with his father in the field. His father fell from the green tractor and was crushed by th...

Lannister Jokes for GoT fans

These keep popping into my head, much to my wife's chagrin...

How do the Lannister's learn their ABCs?

....a b c d e f g, right in front of dead Joffrey.....q r s t u v, please don't tell their daddy....


I tried to map the Lannister's family tree once, but it had me running ...

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Donald Trump holds a fund raising campaign rally.

During the rally, he steps down from the stage and slaps one of his cheering supporters. Now the shit has really hit the fan.

All my friends keep going on and on about the benefits of solar energy, but honestly.....

I’m more of a fan of wind.

Bean Disaster

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he wa...

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What does a Tool fan and an unvaccinated child have in common?

Neither one will be alive when their next album is released

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between PewDiePie's fans and catholic priests?

Nothing. They're both fucking 9 year olds.

How do anime fans diagnose health problens?

WeebMD

There once was a man called John O’Malley. When John was young he loved tractors. He had posters of tractors on his wall, loads of toy tractors, he even named his dog “Tractor”!

One day, while John was driving his favorite tractor, a Massey Ferguson 5710SL, the vehicle caught on fire. Luckily John escaped but not without injury, the tractor had blown up and some shrapnel had hit John after he jumped out of the tractor. He was scarred, physically and mentally and absolutely ...

I asked my physician if he was a James Bond fan

Dr.: No

His Holiness the Pope is an avid fan of crosswords, and one day he was struggling with one...

"I can't seem to get this last word to fit!" He complained to his aide.

"Have you checked the other cross words, your Holiness?"

"Yes, but it's only the one word, and it's a four letter word for a woman, that ends in 'unt'''

"A yes, aunt!" Said the aide.

Suddenly the Pope...

Mr Horse has always wanted to play the guitar...

So he starts going for lessons and after a few months he is quite good so he calls on his friend Mr Pig who plays the piano because he would like to start a band. They write some songs and play at some venues but all the fans say that they need a vocalist to take their band to the next level. So the...

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They let it burn out then follow it around for 30 years.

Little Johnny (Long)

A teacher asked her class how many of them were Jeremy Corbyn fans.
Not really knowing what a Jeremy Corbyn fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands . . . except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different . . aga...

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I’ve decided to stop giving blowjobs during marathons.

I’m just not a fan of running gags.

Two wind turbines are standing in a field...

One turbine turns to the other and asks: "so, what sort of music are you into?"

The second turbine replies: "oh, I'm a huge metal fan"

Once upon a time, there was a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately they had always had very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry he thought to hims...

Honestly, with these ceiling fan jokes.

They just keep going around in circles, man.

The boys on Stranger Things must be fans of Spinal Tap

Considering they are all probably cranking it to Eleven

When it's hot, my wife really likes us to blow on each other to help keep cool, but I'll be honest...

I'm not a fan.

I'm not really a fan of TikTok

The posts there are really just hit or miss

It’s a great time to date a Rams fan..

They are used to disappointment and aren’t expecting a ring.

How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?

Put her in a Patriots jersey

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.

Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."

The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.

The Rabb...

I'm lonely. I solved this by moving to a warm location...

Now I have fans everywhere I go.

One day, Keanu Reeves is leaving his house...

On his way out, his home is surrounded by paparazzi. Looking into the crowds, he sees 20 people or so, and standing in between all of them, is a rather large machine. He hides his face and quickly rushes to his car.

Keanu, knowing how to elude the paparazzi where possible, drives a rather ro...

Me on a date

Date - I’m a country fan

Me - Same, Russia’s pretty big

Date - that’s not what I meant, anyway this date isn’t working out, would you mind calling me a cab?

Me - ok, you’re a cab

A man died and went to heaven...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "O...

A man was studying to be a filmmaker...

Since he was big live music fan, he started hitting up his favorite local bands and offering to do behind-the-scenes documentary sessions as promotional materials. He got a few bites and after shooting a few small acts, his work really took off, developing a reputation for the way he seemed to disap...

A Banker, a Fox News fan and a welfare recipient are at a table sharing 12 cookies...

The banker takes 11 cookies and says to the Fox News fan: "Watch out for the welfare guy, he wants your cookie!".

I wasn't a fan of this whole cancer thing

But it's grown on me.

What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common?

They’re both annoying.

Did you hear about the 50 plus year old Sci Fi fan with big nipples?

Areola 51

Superbowl LIII is the only superbowl I've seen where fans of both teams got along and agreed

That it was the worst superbowl ever

My girlfriend said she's a big fan of horoscopes. You know what that makes me?

Single.

Everyone is a fan of Stephen Hawking now that he died.

I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.

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A businessman has designed a clock which moves one minute forward whenever it hears someone swear. To test it, he decided to set it up in three bars different bars.

First he went to a Japanese bar and anonymously set up the clock on one of the walls.

A day later, he returns to that bar to see that the clock is only one minute too early from the current time.

He repeats the process, but now in an American bar.

A day later he returns to see t...

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.

The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things...

I once new a guy who loved tractors, but one day he sadly fell off his tractor and broke his arm and vowed to never go near a tractor again.

A few months later after coming home from a night out with his friends and with his buddy in tow, he arrived home to find his house on fire.

He immediately rushed inside took the deepest breath he could and inhaled all of the smoke, and all of the flames.

His now bewildered friend aske...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I refuse to participate in my girlfriend’s western fantasy, where she dresses up as a cowgirl.

I’m just not a fan of chapped lips.

Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.

“I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.”

“I blame the players,” said the second fan. “If they made more of an effort, we’d score some points.”

“I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Seattle, I’d be suppo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m not a huge fan of poop jokes

But they’re a solid number 2

My name is Afterhim because my father was a big fan of Rocky Balboa

So he decided to name me after him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do R. Kelly fans and Mormons have in common?

They both defend sexual predators.

Why where people looking out the ceiling and yelling?

They where ceiling fans.

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