This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight...

I wouldn’t spend so much time on Reddit.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was a big metal fan back in high school.

Back in high school I was a big metal fan.

At the beginning of the summer holidays I was at this awesome house party.

It was just high school kids in the house so we were able to turn the volume way up and had a pretty awesome playlist: Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Mai...

I asked my physician if he was a James Bond fan

Dr.: No

I'm not a fan of Trump, but I'd never denigrate his supporters

If you're a Trump supporter, denigrate means to put down.

His Holiness the Pope is an avid fan of crosswords, and one day he was struggling with one...

"I can't seem to get this last word to fit!" He complained to his aide.

"Have you checked the other cross words, your Holiness?"

"Yes, but it's only the one word, and it's a four letter word for a woman, that ends in 'unt'''

"A yes, aunt!" Said the aide.

Suddenly the Pope...

How do anime fans diagnose health problens?


Did you know Sean Connery is a massive fan of onions?

Yeah, apparently he likesh them shallot

I'm not really a big fan of boat puns

But frigate

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They let it burn out then follow it around for 30 years.

I'm not really a fan of TikTok

The posts there are really just hit or miss

A Banker, a Fox News fan and a welfare recipient are at a table sharing 12 cookies...

The banker takes 11 cookies and says to the Fox News fan: "Watch out for the welfare guy, he wants your cookie!".

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

I was really not of fan of body hair.

It's grown on me, though.

The boys on Stranger Things must be fans of Spinal Tap

Considering they are all probably cranking it to Eleven

What would you call Usain Bolt if he was a spongebob squarepants fan?

The cash slinging dasher

It’s a great time to date a Rams fan..

They are used to disappointment and aren’t expecting a ring.

Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.

“I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.”

“I blame the players,” said the second fan. “If they made more of an effort, we’d score some points.”

“I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Seattle, I’d be suppo...

How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?

Put her in a Patriots jersey

I wasn't a fan of this whole cancer thing

But it's grown on me.

My name is Afterhim because my father was a big fan of Rocky Balboa

So he decided to name me after him

Superbowl LIII is the only superbowl I've seen where fans of both teams got along and agreed

That it was the worst superbowl ever

What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common?

They’re both annoying.

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.

Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."

The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.

The Rabb...

What kind of music do windmills like?

They're huge metal fans.

Stop making ac jokes.

I'm not a fan

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do R. Kelly fans and Mormons have in common?

They both defend sexual predators.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Since the success of The Rock, fans suggest more wrestlers should participate in acting.

They are. It's called wrestling.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call it when a porn star has sex with a fan, for free.

Pro bono

I am a huge fan of R.E.M did you see the photo I got with them backstage after their concert,

that’s me in the corner...

For Star Trek fans: What did Scotty tell Kirk when The Enterprise flew over western England?

"Thar be Wales here!"

A little known fact about president Trump is that he’s an avid Fortnite fan

What with all the walls being built

What’s the approximate Venn Diagram of Tool fans and Joe Rogan fans

It’s a Perfect Circle

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I’m not a huge fan of poop jokes

But they’re a solid number 2

What do you call a fan who dies with an erection ?

A die 'hard' fan.

PS - 1st joke here.I am sorry.

How do you circumcise an Alabama fan?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

6 months into our relationship, I found out that my boyfriend is a huge fan of ass play.

I guess I just didn't peg him for one.

what's the difference between Patriots fans and cicadas?

cicadas are only annoying every few years

Why are dogs big fans of Doctor Who?

Who let the dogs out!

I hate One Direction fans.

I prefer the ones that go back and forth.

My girlfriend said she's a big fan of horoscopes. You know what that makes me?


A lot of my friends are not a fan of my cheesy jokes

I think they're just laughtose intolerant.

A friend of mine is a big fan of the Doppler Effect.

He soon changed his tune when he ran it past me.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When I'm a rockstar, I'll throw feces at the audience.

So the shit will hit the fans.

What do you call a french anime fan?

A ouiaboo

A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar

and got kicked out for being 10.

Did you know Yul Brynner smelt awful and was a Liverpool FC fan?

Yep, Yul never wore cologne.

Everyone is a fan of Stephen Hawking now that he died.

I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.

I really like my ceiling fan

It may not be the best in the world..but it’s definitely up there

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You think you’re a true fan of the Sex Pistols?

Name two of their albums.

I’m not a fan of pro wrestling, but I won’t disparage those who are.

For those who do like pro wrestling, “disparage” means to talk badly about something.

What’s a soccer fan’s favorite lotion brand?

Olay, olay, olay, olay

I bought a fan today, but it wasn’t strong enough.

So I put it on airplane mode.

What did Phish fans say when they ran out of pot?

This band sucks

A joke for Tony Bennett fans...

Larry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good.
Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together.

Larry went to heaven and ...

I was never a huge fan of cocaine...

but I did like the smell of it. A lot.

Did you hear the one about Garry Kasperov's biggest fan?

Oh! that old chess nut.

What does a Cleveland Cavaliers fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?

He turns off the PlayStation 4.

Are you an oscillating fan?



This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three football fans were driving along when they

saw a body in the undergrowth. Stopping their car, the three guys ran over to see what they could do. Unfortunately, they found the nude body of a deceased young woman. Being gentlemen, the first guy dropped his Chicago Bears hat over one breast. The second guy, a Tampa Bay Bucs fan, placed his hat ...

How do you annoy a Pink Floyd fan?

Play their music on shuffle

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday’s performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

4 football fans were in a plane crash

They all survive, until one day. The barcelona fan dies. So the 3 remaining fans decide they should eat the part of him depending on what team they like.

The first guy likes Liverpool, so he got to eat the liver.

The second guy likes Manchester, so he got to eat the chest.

The t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's a Star Wars fan's favorite sex position?

Hand Solo

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

what do you call a nazi thats a fan of spongebob

a gas flinging fasher

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"Why does this pornstar attract a lot of fans"

They just keep coming to her

I wasn’t a fan of A Star Is Born

I found it a bit nebulous.

I wouldn't call myself a fan of steampunk

But I will say it's the healthiest way to prepare punk

Why are U2 fans happy to work for free?

Because they are pro Bono.

At first I didn’t really like fans

But the more I’m around them, the more they blow on me.

Anyone a fan of Roman Numeral puns?

I, for one, am a huge fan of them

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Raider Hater

A little girl has her first day in a new school after moving from San Francisco to Los Angeles.

The teacher asks the class “How many of you are Charger fans?”

The whole class raises their hands except for the little girl.

Teacher asks “What is your favorite team?”

“The Ni...

I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?

Not a fan.

I made my small plastic fan listen to metal music

It is now a big metal fan.

A survey showed that England had the highest Star Wars fan base in the world...

I guess the fourth is really with them.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference Bear Grylls and Budweiser fans?

Bear Grylls has to drink piss to survive.

What does a Dr. Who fan say when he has dry skin?


What does a ceiling fan say?

Go ceiling! You’re number 1!

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they’ll never walk alone.

What genre would Trump's autobiography be filed under?

Fan fiction.

Do you want to hear my impression of an extractor fan?

*sigh* I used to love tractors

I'm a big fan of overpopulation regulation.

The police prefer to call it "murder".

I bought a ceiling fan the other day

complete waste of money! All he does is stand, applaud, and say he loves how smooth it is!

Don't call yourself a Chainsmokers fan...

..unless you have stage 4 lung cancer.

A teacher asked her 6th Grade class how many of them were Trump fans...

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Trump fans.

Not really knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different....

I'm not a fan of political jokes.

I've seen too many get elected.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I met a Native American fan of Styx the other day.

We talked for a bit, and he had to leave. I realized I didn't know his name. So I asked, and he told me he was called "Tecumsehlaway".

Why are programmers no fans of the outdoors?

There are too many bugs

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I’ve never been a fan of fertilizer...

I think it’s a load of shit to be honest.

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.

The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things...

What do Grateful Dead fans say when they run out of drugs?

Hey guys, what's that horrible music?

Source: A friend who followed the Dead around told me this years ago.

I like to sleep with a fan on me at night.

It’s why I’m divorcing my wife to join a band

Tractor Fan

I once had a friend named Gary. Gary loved tractors. He spent his whole childhood on tractors, cleaning them driving them and even fixing them. But once, when Gary turned 16 he was driving his new tractor that stalled, throwing him into the air, breaking his leg. He was devastated. Since that day he...

Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

A: Turn off the XBox.