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Believer Jokes

My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking

And then I saw her face...

My friend Amol is a strong believer in numeralogy.

He made an affidavit to change his name to 6.022x 10^23.

Jesus walks into a bar.

He sees a Russian man with a glass of water.
Jesus asks "My son, are you a believer?"
The Russian replies "No."
With a wave of his hands, Jesus changes it to a glass of wine.
"Well my son, do you believe now?"
The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

The next day, Jesus comes in...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex.

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

I was arguing with a flat Earth believer

We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".

I'm a firm believer in karma...

All of the people I treated badly had it coming to them.

My mom is a believer in baptism by fire.

The priest said "No, you have to use water."

My brother is a big believer in Flat Earth Theory

but he is starting to come around.

Just want to give a shoutout to my church for finally getting through to me and making me a firm believer.

In atheism.

I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule

It’s science.

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