UPJOKE
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Your essays should be like a girl's skirt

Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting

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Did you Hear about the guy who was sexually attracted to the end of essays?

He always came to conclusions.

"How long should my essay be?"

Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.

He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."

50% of essays

Is the letter 's'.

Why do spaniards frequently plagiarize essays?

Because nobody inspects the Spanish exposition!

I pour maple syrup over my essays

Because they're 100% waffle.

Where does Chewbacca research his college essays?

Wookiepedia

My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays...

I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”

I like my children how I like my essays.

Unplanned and poorly executed

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My professor called me into his office.

"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."

"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"

He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"
...

For school I had to write a thousand word essay

So I drew a picture

An engineering student is called into the Dean’s office…

The dean says “While we know you are doing well in your engineering studies, there some very troubling reports from your core curriculum professors. In English, your professor says you constantly use the passive voice in your essays; your art history professor says you are constantly confusing Carav...

Why is the teenage mexican pregnancy rate so high?

Cuz the teachers said "go home and do your essays"

Why do Mexican gang members usual flunk school?

Cause they don't turn in their essays.

Why was El Chapo so popular among academics?

There were many *essays* around him

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Know your homonyms

As teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to lea...

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