What's the shortest biography you can write for a convicted murderer?

A life sentence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke that Abraham Lincoln told

I’ve never seen this joke here before, I read it in some biography long ago in my school days. This is a joke that actual President Lincoln told:

There was an American ambassador to England after the revolutionary war, and his bitter hosts wanted to antagonize him.

So they got a port...

According to his biography, Bob Marley's two favourite interests were fashion and comedy.

Or, as he called them, Get Up and Stand Up.

My friend wants to study Dwayne Johnson’s biography and his ancestors....

Is he studying geneaology or geology?

I bought a new book yesterday. It's the Biography of Jimmy Scotch, the inventor of "Scotch Tape"

Unfortunately I couldn't find the beginning.

My good freind Jake is writing my biography

I told him he should kill off the main character

Why is Donald Trump’s biography so long?

It has four Chapter 11s.

My girlfriend started reading Bill Cosby's biography...

But it put her to sleep.

I just read John F Kennedy's biography

The end was mind blowing

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable.

It was an autobiography…

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Hillary Clinton's biography is a fable...

... because the main character is a bitch.

What's a car's favorite genre of literature? [OC]

An auto-biography!

What’s a cars favorite book?

An auto-biography

I keep meaning to write my memoirs, but never get around to it.

It's my oughta biography

If you wrote a book about Lightning McQueen...

Is it a biography or an autobiography?

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I used to shit my pants in school

You can read all about it in my auto biography, *Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid*.

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