UPJOKE
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of he men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one ...

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A bus stops... [NSFW]

and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-mor...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

Do you know who's behind that new animated animal-horror-film?

It's a company called Pig-Saw.

Have you heard about Ted? The guy with a talent for animated internet pictures?

He's gifted

The animal kingdom had become overpopulated.

The lion, being the head of the animal kingdom, made a decree: a joke telling contest would be held at the end of the week. The tortoise, unanimously agreed upon as being the fairest of all the animals, was appointed as the official judge. The rules were simple: tell your joke to the tortoise, and i...

What do 1000 animated zombies eat?

Fraaaaaaames....

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My Uncle Sal is gone 20 yrs today and he told me this joke when I was 5. I remember it vividly to this day (34yrs old), and still laugh thinking of him saying it in his quirky voice and animated gestures

Bear and Rabbit are walking in the woods together toward the stream.

Bear stops to squat and take a hot shit.

As Rabbit patiently waits close by, Bear finishes up and politely asks Rabbit:

"Hey Rabbit, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur??"

"Why no Bear, ...

I woke up feeling so animated this morning.

Probably because the curtains were drawn.

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I noticed that youtube video thumbnails now play an animated gif when you hover over them.

When i noticed this, i was laying in bed with my conservative, traditional girlfriend, but without thinking, i say out-loud, "Oh, youtube finally caught up to pornhub with that awesome feature."

My girlfriend: What?
Me: What?

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

You could ask Rick Astley for any movie in his animated collection, but...

He’s never gonna give you Up.

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