UPJOKE

Electricity Bill Jokes

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time…

I was shocked

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I remember when my dad once gave me money to pay the electricity bill.

Instead, I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.

But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the house door, parked outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried; especially me, because the car...

My local Chinese restaurant has been hit with a £10k electricity bill.

They said they can't turn off all the lights but they do dim sum.

In college, my roommates and I were so broke, we couldn’t afford to pay the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of our lives.

My electricity bill is outrageous for the shoddy service I’m getting...

...I’m just not happy with my current provider.

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

How do narcissists save money on their electricity bills?

They use gaslighting.

What do you call a woman who sets fire to her electricity bill?

Bernadette...

When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.

But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.

I'm now afraid of light.

Why wasn't Bill Murray cast as Thor?

Because nobody likes an electricity bill.

With great power

Comes great electricity bill

Some individuals understand the most complicated things in the universe...

I'm sitting here trying to figure out my electricity bill.

My family’s new truck

I remember once when I was a younger kid living with my parents, my dad gave me some money to go down to the grocery store to pay the electricity bill.

Thinking I was a super lucky kid & kind of smart, I decided to buy scratch-off tickets instead. Surprise, surprise - yeah, none of them w...

A farmer got an idea for how to make money off his farm in the off-season. He had a huge property all bounded by a big, white fence end to end. Along that fence was an old country road where few people drove. He decided he would set up a Christmas light display.

It took him some time to gather all the lights necessary, but eventually through the sweat of his farmhands and an absurd number of extension cords, he was finished. When sunset came, the first car to come down that road got an amazing sight.


The entire fence was covered in lights! Fenc...

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Lenin headed directly to Heaven after he died.

He thought he had done much good for the oppressed and deserved retirement in Heaven. He arrived at the gates.

"Who's there?"

"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."

"Okay, okay! Last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here..."

God checked Lenin's dossier and decided...

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An old lady is very hard up

An old lady is very hard up, unable to pay the bills and Christmas is just around the corner. So in desperation she writes a letter to God.

"Dear God, I know you're busy and there are many people more deserving than me, but I really need $100 to pay the gas and electricity bills, plus have so...

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