I installed a high-voltage fence around my property.
My neighbour is dead against it.
An orchestra is performing Chopin
Halfway through the performance a cellist bursts into the concert hall, late and drunk as a skunk. He then pushes his way to his seat and starts awkwardly sawing away at his cello as if nothing was awry.
The conductor was furious! He snapped his baton and dove at the cellist, choking him to d...
A man working on an imaginary high voltage transformer was found dead in his home.
He had apparently received a fatal shock from the fictitious device.
Investigators who later examined it concluded that this was because it was not grounded in reality.
High Voltage Electrician: "This job sucks! We never have enough supplies!"
Boss: "You're out of line!"
What did the voltage say to the current?
What's up, ohmie?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What's worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?
Having high voltage electrodes attached to your testicles and being flogged senseless with a knotted rope.
A man got hired as a freight train conductor. He wasn't very good and was responsible for significant losses of cargo, but he kept covering it up.
At one point he murdered another man who knew what was happening, and soon he started killing more threats to his position as conductor.
But a few years passed, and the conductor's murder record was discovered. Given the severity of his crimes, he was sentenced to death by electric chair. ...
Bad Children's Books Titles
Here are some bad children's books titles I found in my jokes archive. Can you think of others?
1. "You Were an Accident" 2. "Strangers Have the Best Candy" 3. "The Little Sissy Who Snitched" 4. "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her" 5. "The Attention Deficit Disorder Assoc...
During my job interview I was asked: “After a long week how do you normally recharge your batteries”
Apparently “through high voltage nipple clamps” wasn’t the answer they were expecting.
A Frenchman is trying to get information out of an American via electric shocks.
The American says "Please, mercy!"
The Frenchman responds with "Ok", and turns up the voltage.
Why does the physicist call everyone when they're stressed?
Bc with a series connection, the voltage is divided.
The bad bus conductor
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor ...
Coulomb's 4.01st law
If someone throws a high voltage capacitor and yells "catch" it's probably charged.
Current times are scary. We must rise up against it. We need current times resistance.
We need voltage.
There was a boy who grew up in San Francisco and he absolutely loved watching the street cars going up and down the streets.
His goal, when he grew up was to eventually drive those things. Before he even graduated high school, he applied to the street car driving school. He got accepted and once he graduated high school he headed off to training. After months of classes and tests, he was off to his first day of work as an...
Bob is having trouble finding workers for his house construction company
So he decides to open the position up to people with more general skills. The first candidate doesn't have much experience in construction, but insists that his previous experience will be an asset.
The man seems earnest, so Bob decides to give him a chance. He tells the foreman to watch the ...
There was this musician in North Korea....
One day he was called upon by Kim Jong Un to compose a piece of music and have the Great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the Humble Auditorium.
The musician, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked and got to work composing a piece of music. One week later, on...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor
One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and ro...
With great power comes...
Great current and voltage.
What did the memory say to the processor?
If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!