What do you call an educated vampire?

Dr.Acula

I guess you could say I'm educated

To a degree

Educated people are hot

Because they have more degrees

Why are fish poorly educated?

All the schools are below C level.

A traditional tunisian joke I was told by my grandmother and she heard from hers

The bey(King) was missing his mistress who was living far away. He decided to pay her a visit wearing his more expensive clothes, but out of precaution, he decided to first ask his wazir(minister) of weather whether there would be rain on that day.
The wazir paused for 5 minutes, assessing the cl...

A man went to the doctor...

He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has...

When I was a kid I used to admire educated people, but now I realized well mannered people are better than educated ones...

Little did I know you have to lack both to become president of the United States

All Americans should be educated as to what propaganda is when it’s constantly being thrown at them.

Propaganda is when a British person takes a good look at something.

Sending kids back to school at this time will make them over educated but dead inside.

I mean we already have millenials.

A girl goes to a psychiatrist and complains, “I don’t want to marry, I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don’t need a husband but my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?”

Psychiatrist: “You, undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But sometimes you will not go in the way you want. Sometimes you will go wrong. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes your plan won’t work. Sometimes your wishes will not be fulfilled. Then whom will you blame? Will you blame yourself?”...

If you smoke weed, you get High. If you read books, you get Educated.

If you do both, you get Highly Educated.

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students

A new lady teacher, came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with -name, and hobby. She said " Let's start with the boys first. Boys start giving their introduction.

First boy : " My name is john, and ...

Which is the most educated dinosaur?

The Thesaurus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A math professor, Dave, has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

An uneducated father with his educated son

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.
Son- I see millions of stars.
Father- And what does that tell you?
Son- Astrono...

Which is the most educated nut?

mAcademia.

Yale educated

The bank manager noticed the new clerk was not good at counting money and adding up figures.


"Where did you get your financial education?" he asked.


"Yale," replied the lad.


"And what's your name?" barked the manager.


"Yim Yohnston," he replied...

What do you call a well educated farmer?

A farmacist

A Lesson in History

The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the...

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, lets do it

Let's go hurtling straight into a sliding glass door and die

Educated Sons

1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief

Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the
4th son out of your house?

Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A report has concluded that paedophiles should be re-educated.

What a great idea, let's send paedophiles back to school.

Where do educated cows go?

To the mooseum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!"

"I understood every word," says the pa...

Zeke, the bank manager, was dismissing his accountant...

"I don't know what the world is coming to, isn't anybody honest?" He asked. "Where were you educated?"

"Yale," replied the young accountant.

"Such a grand university - what is your name?"

"Yim Yohansen" replied the accountant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a well educated penis

is one that rises so the lady can sit down

An illiterate Father went camping with his highly educated Son...

As they walk through the wildness the son boasts about how being educated makes him appreciate nature, evolution, etc. To which the father just shrugs and continues along.

When they reach their camping site, they set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Unable to sleep properly, the father w...

Many people say a diploma is just a piece of paper. I as an educated person beg to differ

It's a piece of cardboard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A London lawyer runs a stop sign..

And gets pulled over by an Irish cop. This hotshot sure knows he's better educated and definitely smarter than some random Irish cop. He decides to prove to himself how smart he is while having some fun at the cop.

Irish cop:"License and registration, please."

"What for?", lawyer asks....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lots of people are sexually educated.

But virgins are stupid fuckers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News from School

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has been three months now since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read further unless you are s...

A recent study shows that 51.9% of the UK are under educated.

It was called the EU referendum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college student walks up to a farmer asks:

"Excuse me Sir, I couldn't help but notice that on the far north end of you property, I saw some cottonwood trees.

Would it be okay if I go and harvest me a few bags?"

The farmer scratches his head and says "Everybody knows you can't get cotton from a cottonwood tree."

"Wel...

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