Documented Jokes - 10 Hilarious Documented Jokes

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources"

-The Credible Hulk

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

I had an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...

The head was replaced once and the handle twice but I got documented proof it belong to Abraham Lincoln.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Exercising

1 - My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where in the worldl she is.

2 - The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3 - I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven'...

A comedian takes her friend to a joke-tellers' convention...

The comedian shows her friend the sign-up list for performers, then they grab their seats. The first performer walks out onto the stage, and says:

"16!"

He gets a few chuckles.

"5679!"

The crowd starts to laugh

"227!"

The crowd is in uproar, practically dryi...

If I'm ever traveling near Loch Ness or Sasquatch's lair, I will carry a camera to be safe.

It is a documented fact that these dangerous monsters have never approached anyone who had a camera.

Nautilus

Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.

Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.

Biologist 2: It's not a lie.

Police were called to the scene of a murder

A man escaped a mental hospital and stole some porcelain figurines. Later that night he snuck into a farmers field and used them to beat a cow to death with them.

It was the first documented case of a nic-nac patty wack

Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake

This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1859, there was this German Chemist living in London, England.

One day he received a new batch of experimental powder from Columbia. Curious to find out what the substance was, he opened the package and it erupted in a puff of powder. After inhaling half the cloud the Chemist felt vibrant, energised and happy.

“I hast not seen ziss beefore”, thought t...

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