What resolution is a white supremacists TV?

3K

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Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution was.

She said "Fuck you".

So I'm pretty excited for 2019.

What resolution do Mexican movie theaters show movies in?

Por que.

This year my News Year’s resolution was to solve world hunger. My first step is to feed all the homeless

to bears.

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My New Year Resolution is to give up sexual innuendos;

Which is going to be extremely hard...

I made the resolution to wash 5 dishes every time I go into my kitchen and it's totally working!

I don't go in my kitchen anymore.

At the University, I used to make videos of urine at different resolutions.

I even got a pee HD.

My New Years resolution for 2019 is to be more assertive

if that's okay with you guys?

My new years resolution was to hit the gym more often.

But I'm on my fourth car this year now. This is getting kind of expensive and I think the police are suspicious.

In 2019 I took New Year resolution that i will only tell furniture jokes

And sofa so good.

At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds....

...Only 15 pounds to go!

My resolution for this upcoming year is likely going to be the same as this year.

My computer wouldn't run games well at 4k anyway.

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Bud the Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2019 AUDI advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked...

My resolution this year is to stop trolling

So try not to post anything too stupid

I have only two new years resolutions: To get back into the shape I was before the accident...

....and to stop referring to the fact that I eat too much junkfood, 'the accident'

The year 2192

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...

My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape

Maybe I won't stick with this one either.

My New Year's resolution for 2019 is to not do things prematurely.

So far it's going well.

This year I'm keeping my new year's resolution simple

Everything in 1080p.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! My resolutions are:

1) Stop writing lists.

B) Be more consistent.

7) Learn to count.

My New Year’s resolution is to read more

...so I turned the subtitles on my TV.

My resolution for the next year? The same as the previous years...

1920 x 1080

My New Years resolution is

to build a Velcro wall and I am sticking to it!

My new year’s resolution is to get my gym membership

Cancelled.

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For my New Year’s resolution, I decided to join a gym to improve my sexual stamina.

Turns out none of them offer 60 seconds a month memberships.

Everybody is giving up on their New Years resolutions, but I have upped mine!

Only 13 kg to go now

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above.

It's my new year's resolution.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorant.

Roll on 2019

I think I'll go old school with my new years resolution this year

800 x 600 it is.

My girlfriend doesn’t like it when I sleep with socks, so I made a resolution to sleep barefoot.

After the first night I got cold feet.

For Christmas I'm getting myself a 4K TV.

That's gonna be my new year's resolution.

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My new years resolution was to keep a daily outdoor fitness schedule but I unexpectedly got food poisoning

So far I haven't been gone for any morning runs but I sure have had a fuckload of the morning runs.

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So there is this couple that loves going to nude beaches...

So this beautiful couple frequently visits nude beaches, as both of them get turned on by seeing each other, as well as other people and couples, walking around in the nude in public. They know some friends and regulars from the beaches, but typically keep to themselves and "people-watch" while the...

What resolution does a racist shoot his videos in?

3K

My resolution this year is the same as last year.

1920x1080

It's a little late for a New Year's resolution, But I think it's for the better.

I've decided to go full Vegan. I won't be eating animals anymore. *Just* Vegans.

My New Years resolution is to go to the gym more often, get into grad school, pay off my bills, and learn a new language.

I don’t have a clue how I’m going to get all that done by tomorrow.

I came up with my New Year’s resolution. I will be more of an optimist

But I know that won’t happen. Something will go wrong, and I’ll fail.

Two men are talking about their new year's resolutions

Man #1: My new year's resolution was to get my wife pregnant.

Man #2: Woah, that was my resolution too!!

Man #1: Really? I didn't know you were married...

Man #2: I'm not.

Man #1: Then how was your new year's resolution to get your wife pregnant?

Man #2: I was ta...

My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...

Buying bitcoin in 2011!

Progression of the New Year's resolution:

Exercise
Exercis
Exerci
Exerc
Exer
Exe
Ex
E

New Years resolution

Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year’s Resolution

A little late to the party here, but for my New Year's resolution, I decided to dedicate more time to my step machine.

I never knew my real machine. 😢

My Strategy to Stop Drinking for A New Years Resolution...

It’s simple
I’ll only take a drink every time I see a pro-republican post get popular on Reddit.

I finally managed to achieve my new years resolution

My 4K monitor turned up this morning, I'm so happy!!

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New year's resolution - give up smoking and wanking.

It'll be tough because since I was 14, I've been a 40-a-day guy. I smoke a fair bit too.

My New Year’s Resolution is to stop making commitments that I can’t follow through with.

I guess I already failed.

New Years resolution to recycle water

I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

Her: What 're your 2018 resolutions?

Me: I don't make 1, let alone 2018 of them

I'll start watching all my videos at 4k(2160p) from tomorrow.

Its my new year's resolution.

My New Year's resolution is to give up club sandwiches.

But I don't think I can give up cold turkey.

I wish Youtube would only allow videos in 1080p or higher from next year on

That would be a nice New Year's resolution.

My wifes New Year resolution is

that I spend more time with the kids

My news years resolution was to lose 40 pounds

So I took my 20 pound weights and dropped them off in the woods

In 1240 CE, the Mongols invaded Tibet

... and the Tibetan leader, Lama Sakya Pandita, marshaled all able-bodied men in Lhasa to repel the invasion. Commoners, nobility and peasants answered the summons, but Sakya's own monks hesitated. After all, they had all taken vows of nonviolence, and had not harmed so much as a fly since their i...

Whats a low-end PC's New Years Resolution?

800x600

For this New Years resolution I'm not going to smoke any more weed.

But I'm not gonna smoke any less either.

In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!

A couple had their first daughter and were deciding on a name.

The man decides he wants to call her Hope. The woman says “I like Love, let’s call her that!” They come to the resolution to name her Love, since that’s what the wife wanted so badly. Times goes by and baby Love is born a happy baby. Love continued to be a happy baby all through elementary school. H...

You are now fish!

Catholics don't eat meat during the 40 days of lent. Now it so happened a Muslim carpenter moved into a catholic area. Now this guy loved his barbeque and he'd be out in his garden almost daily to enjoy his afternoon feast. Now lent started and the smoky smell wafting from his garden had many people...

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New Years Resolutions

Me and the wife were having Christmas drinks with friends when one asked, "what's everyone's new years resolution?"

I said, "Mine's going to be, to have more sex."

"Oh great!" my wife sighed.

"Don't worry, love" I assured her, "it's not going to affect you."

Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around.

Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable.

My resolution last year was to lose 25 lbs.

Anyone know how I can lose 50lbs in an hour and fifteen minutes?

Making a New Years resolution to not shart myself

I hope I can keep the streak going

I shared a shuttle ride today with a linguist heading to Turkey to study Tuva throat singers. (No joke!) I was reminded of this joke: Two linguists were walking down the street. Which one was the expert in contextually-indicated deixis and anaphoric reference resolution strategies?

The other one.

My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes.

He hugged my sister and I :(

I made two New Year's resolutions: my first is to stop procrastinating

I'll make my second one later

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The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

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My new year's resolution is 640 x 480

This NYE I'm going out and getting fucking pixelated.

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