I would post a joke about cosmetics

But I can't seem to make up one

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

"You look wonderful, dear."

A man’s wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours, applying the “miracle” products.

Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and asked, “Darling, honestly now, w...

After traveling on business, Tim thinks it would be nice to bring his girlfriend a little gift.

“How about some perfume?” he asks the cosmetics clerk. She shows him a fifty-dollar bottle.



“That’s a bit much,” says Tim, so she returns with a smaller bottle for thirty dollars.



“That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complains. Growing annoyed, the clerk brings out a tiny fi...

When I was young, I really wanted to work with animals

But I just couldn’t get a job in cosmetics

Heard this gem from a coworker yesterday

A man and his wife are out grocery shopping when the husband stops in beer section and gets a 24-pack for $10.

The husband puts the 24-pack in the cart and his wife stops him and say "We can't get that, we have to stick to the budget!" so he puts it back on the shelf.

Later on the wife...

A man is walking through the grocery store, and puts a case of beer in his cart

His wife says: “you don’t need that. Put that back.”
The husband says: “Yes, dear,” and puts the case of beer back on the shelf.
Later, the wife picks up a container from the cosmetics aisle and puts it in the cart.
“What is this?” The husband asks.
“It’s face cream. I wear it so I can l...

Never Argue With A Woman Who Reads

An elderly married couple is traveling by car from California to New York for a National Book Conference. After Spending almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to pull over and rent a room. They didn't want to waste much time, so they only planned to sleep for f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 50 year-old woman decides to spend a lot of money on her birthday...

...on cosmetics, wrinkle reduction treatments, a new hairdo, new clothes, etc. When she decides she's done the most she could, she feels really good about herself and decides to go for a walk.

First, she enters a shop to buy a magazine. While she's paying, she asks the cashier:

'How ol...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Decision Time

A man who had been seeing three different women decided it was time to settle down and get married. The problem was, he couldn't decide which woman to ask to marry him. Then he had an idea: he'd give $1,000 to each of them and whatever they did with the money would influence his decision.

S...

A man and his wife

A man and his wife are shopping at the local grocery store. The man picks up a 12 pack of beer and carries it up to his wife.


His wife turns to him and says "how much does that 12 pack of beer cost?"

The man says " $15.99"


"$15.99!?" the woman exclaims
"that is way...

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