UPJOKE
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LPT: If you ever find yourself outside without clothes, just spray yourself down with Windex.

It prevents streaking.

I don't understand why Windex didn't get rid of my computer virus.

I was told it's great at disinfecting Windows!

So I started drinking a bottle of windex every morning....

Iā€™m not sure that it helps prevent covid-19 but my underwear has definitely been cleaner, No more streaks!

The Windex snapchat isn't consistent with posts.

Guess it's because they don't like streaks.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Home Depot Scam

BEWARE HOME DEPOT SCAM


A "heads up" for you all who may be regular Home Depot
customers.


Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam.


While out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enoug...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A woman is sitting alone at a bar when a man approaches her and asks her "Do you wash your pannts with Windex?"

"Uh... no. Why?"

"Because I can see myself in them".

She rolls her eyes, dismisses him and goes back to her drink. A few minutes later another man approaches her. "Do you have a map?"

"Ugh, let me guess... you're getting lost in my eyes? Sorry, heard it before." Dejected, ...

The hot farmer

A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer. "Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in...

Whenever I get the urge to run around naked, I stop and drink a bit of Windex

It prevents streaking.

All clear jokes

Hello everyone, my job involves being on a train and being a commentator, we have to say "all clear" when everyone is on and seated so the driver knows to start the drive. I want to find some jokes to go with it! One is "We must be windex, because we're all clear."

I know I could come up with...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Porn

I watch so much porn, my screen saver is windex.

A naked man...

... was running outside and causing some pandemonium.

The police tried everything to get this man to stop: pepper spray, tazers, rubber bullets...nothing seemed to work.

With a big grin, one officer turned to the Chief and said, "I've got an idea...we spray him with Windex!"

Th...

How to mess with people

To REALLY mess with people, try drinking Gatorade from a Windex bottle.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Older men scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, ...

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