UPJOKE
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Aftershave Jokes

I invented a new aftershave in honour of the Omicron virus

I named it ‘Leave me the Far Cologne’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call hand soap ‘Aftershit’.

It’s a little known fact that superstar actor Yul Brynner was a huge Liverpool F.C fan. He also refused to use aftershave as it made his skin come up in hives.....

Yul never wore cologne!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very elderly gentleman,mid ninety's,very well dressed, hair well groomed,great suit,flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good aftershave,presenting a well looked after image,walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly lady,mid eighties.

The gentleman walks over,sits along side of her,orders a drink,takes a sip,turns to her and says"So tell me do I come here often?"

So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald wa...

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

My mate recommended I try the new Breadcrumb aftershave

Apparently the birds love it!

Yul Brynner was a lifelong liverpool fan who didn't wear aftershave

Yul never wore cologne

Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas

Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.

I once went to a country where the president was a bottle of aftershave

It was under cologne-ial rule...

TIL that in the '60s, Liverpool FC tried to get Yul Brynner to advertise their own-brand aftershave.

Sadly, it was doomed to fail because...

Yul never wore cologne.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The older man and his problems

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a ...

Apparently there’s a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave.

It’s “The Cologne Wars.”

Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

Bu...

The onion joke.

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...

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