I've got a new aftershave called breadcrumbs

The birds love it

I once went to a country where the president was a bottle of aftershave

It was under cologne-ial rule...

Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

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Donald Trump and Barrak Obama end up in the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn into politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Tr...

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If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call hand soap ‘Aftershit’.

Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas

Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

Onions

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...

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My best friend said I'm overly analytical.

At least, I think he's my best friend. Judging by how he's been acting as of late though, I may in fact, be wrong. It's hard to imagine myself without him because, Jesus Christ, he's such a good guy. Honest and everything. But recently I get the impression that he's, I dunno, found people that are b...

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A Marine and a Sailor were getting a haircut.

One day there was a Marine and a Sailor sitting next to each other getting a haircut and a shave. At the end of the shave, the barber went to go put some aftershave on the Marine. The marine stopped the barber and said “skip the aftershave, I don’t want to go home to my wife smelling like a whore...

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Trump and Obama go to the same barber

Trump and Obama go to the same barber to get a shave. After Trump is done, the barber asks if he'd like some cologne or aftershave. "No", he says, "my wife will think I've been to a whore house" . After Obama gets shaved, the barber asks him the same thing. "Sure, go ahead", he says. "My wife doesn'...

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A collection of OC jokes!

Well I hope they're funny, anyway. The past few months I've been writing down anything that seems vaguely amusing to me. I imagine that some of them might be already-existing jokes without knowing it, but I hope you enjoy!

* I was offered a job studying fog but I turned it down. In hindsight,...

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The older man and his problems

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a ...

Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

Bu...

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