Day Of The Week Jokes - 19 Hilarious Day Of The Week Jokes

They say Sunday is the saddest day of the week

But experts recognize that the day before it is truly the sadder day.

I'm going to start brewing beer and name it after the first day of the week.

Whenever a 24 or 30 pack is brought to a party they'll say, "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays".

On what day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandpa brought up sex the other day. He told me after being married to my grandma so long, they still have sex almost every day of the week.

They almost had sex last monday, almost on tuesday, wednesday etc.

What is Loki's least favorite day of the week?

Thor's Day

What day of the week do Mexicans play D&D?

THAC0 Tuesday

What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week

Tu-Tu Tuesday

What do you call a cardigan you can wear every day of the week?

A cardiganandagainandagain^andagain^andagain^andagain^andagain

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have sex almost every day of the week.

Almost on Monday. Almost on Tuesday. Almost on Wednesday. Almost on Thursday. Almost on Friday. Almost on Saturday. And almost on Sunday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives

The 40-year old says: "When my wife and I were just married, we'd do it every single day. Any position you could imagine. But now I'm lucky if we can average once a week".

The 60-year old man responds: "Once a week? Just wait till you get to my age. Once a month is what I consider an active s...

I set Blur’s Parklife as my alarm, and it goes off every single day of the week...

Except for Wednesdays, when I’m rudely awakened by the dustman.

Did you hear about the guy who put on a clean pair of socks every day of the week?

By Friday he could hardly get his shoes on.

What day of the week do sea monsters get married?

Wednesday

What’s a goat man’s favourite day of the week?

Satyrday.

What's the fat kid's favorite day of the week?

Fry-day

How many days of the week start with t?

It depends. If you are American it's two, but if you are British then pretty much every day of the week starts with tea.

On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console?

Wednesday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets horny during his first week on a pirate ship...

So he goes up to the captain and asks "What do you guys use when you get horny?"

The captain says: "There's a barrel over there with a hole in it; we use that".

Guy: "Great when can I use it?"

Captain: "You can use it any day of the week, except Tuesday".

G...

Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away?” –Mark 16:2-3

And when they roll the stone away, if Jesus sees his shadow and retreats, we have 6 more weeks of winter.

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