UPJOKE
hurtimpairmentharmchangeimpairscathewrongdestructiondetrimentburnmutilationmutilateinjureinjurydefacement

Damaging Jokes

Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

I saw two kids damaging my front lawn with a network device.

So I modem down.

What do you call a lizard that tells damaging lies about you?

A slandermander

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher decides to illustrate how damaging cigarettes and alcohol are

by doing a demonstration in class. First he puts a live worm in alcohol and worm, after squirming a lot, dies as expected. Then he places another live worm into a jar, blows some cigarette smoke inside before closing it. As expected, worm dies after a few minutes. With demonstration finished, he ask...

Remember when OJ Simpson was found innocent and all of us white people hit the street looting and damaging property?!

Oh, that's right, we didn't...

If you have a Samsung Galaxy phone and you protect it from anyone stealing or damaging it...

That makes you a Guardian of the Galaxy.

My Grandpa always told me that alcohol is damaging visual sense

He also told me that he likes glasses more than being thirsty

I accused the construction man for damaging my sidewalk.

"You are going to need concrete evidence if you want to prove me guilty"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a boy who is always in trouble, he is constantly upsetting the other children and damaging the school property. Eventually, a letter is sent home to his parents...

...saying the school has put up with his bad behaviour long enough. This morning, they found him masturbating in class so they have expelled him. The letter continues: “I
suggest you talk to your son about his dirty little habit as soon as possible. Tell him he’ll go blind if he carries on.
Yo...

How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: One to screw the lightbulb, and one to convince the lightbulb that the lightbulb’s sinful, promiscuous behavior is what caused the first one to screw it, and if the lightbulb gossips to the police about being screwed, it would be damaging the church’s mission of preaching the Good News of Jesus...

Five gangsters walk past a local diner

The owner runs out the door and up to them saying, "Excuse me, I've got a problem and you're the only ones who can solve it!"

The gangsters look at each other confused and ask, "What, why us man?"

"I'll explain later, just come with me!" The owner replies. The curious gangsters follow ...

A man with no arms is homeless and looking for a job.

He goes to the pastor in his local church one morning and says:
"Pastor, I am in desperate need of work. Is there any kind of job you can give me, despite my obvious disability?"
The pastor, with a cheeky grin, points to the churches bell tower and says:
"You see that bell up in the tower? ...

A boy was eating chocolate...

A boy was sitting in a park eating a bar of chocolate. After finishing it, he opened another one and started eating that too. Then the man sitting next to him said

"Do you know that you're damaging your teeth there son?"

"My grandfather lived for a 132 years" the boy replied.

"...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.