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Cups Jokes

A king has 3 cups in front of him. The first 2 cups are full, the third cup is empty. What is the King's name?

King Philip III

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I hate it when homeless people shake their change cups at me.

I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it.

You have three cups of coffee and 20 sugar cubes? How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes into each cup of coffee using all 20 sugar cubes.

1 cube in the first cup, 1 cube in the second, and 18 in the third because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put in coffee.

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The only candy I'll eat is Reese's peanut butter cups.

I'm a Reecist.

A kid is selling lemonade…

The boy’s sign reads “1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he t...

What do you call a person who illegally transports cups

A smuggler

Even in the metric system you serve tea in tea cups, and not in

tea liters.



A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...

Did you hear about the Native American who died after drinking 100 cups of tea

He died in his tea pee

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An 80 year old blind man walks into a pub and sits at the bar.

He orders a pint and tells the landlord, "I've been blind for 50 years lad. My hearing's perfectly attuned. I bet can tell you what's happening in any room in this pub."

"Oh really", says the landlord, "go ahead then".

The old man cups a hand round his ear, tilts his head to the ceil...

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I'm not a big fan of people who don't like Peanut Butter Cups

I find them to be reesist.

An indian (native American) drank 50 cups of tea.

Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.

My wife has been harsh on me having cups in the bedroom and has vowed to be tougher if she finds any cups in the bedroom.

Guess whose bra will be in the kitchen.

A king has 3 cups...

The first one is filled with water. The second one is filled up with water. The third one is empty.

What is the King called?





Phillip the 3rd

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Two cups find a mirror on the floor.

One cop picks it up and says, "Hey, this face looks familiar."

He hands the mirror to the second cop, who looks at it, and says, "You're onto something, I've definitely seen this guy before."

Taking matters seriously, they go find their commander at the police station. They explain wha...

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I was fired for bringing peanut butter cups to work

I blame systemic Reesism.

Chore time at the house. My daughter was freaking out at the sight of the plates, cups, bowls, et cetera stacked in the sink. I looked at her reassuringly and told her…

Dishes not the time to panic.

What is it called when the plate stole the cups date right in front of them?

A BOWLD MOVE!


it’s 6AM here and I rushed on here to type it before I forgot...so enjoy

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One time I was at a party and noticed a large group of people patiently waiting their turn to fill their cups with some sort of fruit juice cocktail. Gesturing towards the gathering, I asked one of them "What is this?"

"This is the punch line"

Have you heard of the Indian Chief who drank 15 cups of tea before bed time?

He drowned in his teepee

I walked into wal-mart. I buy box of soda and ramen cups. The lady at the check-out looks at me and my purchase and goes...

"You must be single"

"Because of what im buying?"

"No, because youre ugly"

A Cup of Tea

One day my Gramma was out, and my Grampa was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Grampa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which ...

Germany sets a new record in the world cups.

They arrive in Moscow with ten thousand men. 40 km further than the old record in 1942.

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My Grandad placed three cups on the table, open end down.

Then he put a ball under one of the cups and moved them around the table really fast.
After thirty seconds of this, he stopped and said, "Okay, which one is it under?"

"The middle one."

"Well done! How did you know?"

"Because your other testicle is connected to it."

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What do you get when you stick two Reese's Peanut Butter Cups together?

A Peanut Butter Pint.

My coworker was measuring two cups of creamer, trying to make them even...

I told him not to worry, it was already half and half

‪I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me.

‪Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?‬

Recently a robber stole 300 cups worth of coffee beans

How does he sleep at night.

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Drinking hot coffee in thin plastic cups reduces men's sexual performance by 80%!

It burns tongue and fingers!

Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups...

They're probably Ghana do it again.

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