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Gill Jokes

What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat?

Chuck roast.

All my gilled salamander pet does is just sit there. It barely moves or anything.

I named it Relaxalotl.

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week ...

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the h...

Who’s the wealthiest fish in the sea?

Gill Gates, the flounder of Mackerelsoft

I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:

Nelly

Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice

Eminem

Rhianna




Green Day

Oasis

Nirvana

Nine inch Nails

Aerosmith



George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill

Enya



Yoko ono

Otis Redding

U...

If Liam Neeson played Aquaman

"I've got a particular set of gills"

If you kill a mermaid and steep its tail...

...does that make you gill-tea for murder?

What do you call a fish that murdered someone?

Gill-ty

Why did the fish accept its death after losing its respiratory organs?

Because it lost the gill to live.

What do you call a Goldfish cracker cooked on a stove?

A gilled cheese

Who's the richest fish in all the world?

Gill Bates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish marriage aid

What does a pair of married fish use to help their ailing sex life?



a "gill-do"

A miner moves out west to California...

A miner moves out west to California. Having spent a few years in Colorado, he has a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle miner's live; up from dawn 'til dusk in the mines, and then up from dusk 'til dawn drinking and playing card games.

So, to his surprise, when he moves to Bluster's Bl...

What do you call a fascist fish?

Gill Duce.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The day I met ET. I was minding my own business waiting for the bus when this weirdo sits next to me and pokes me on the shoulder.

"Stop it, will you!" I said. He does it again and I was about to slap the silly grin of his face, but he raised his hand and said there was no need for violence, he was a stranger from a different planet and came to study earthlings.

"Prove it" I said, and he opens his jacket and there are gi...

A guy walks into a bar. . .

. . .And asks for a shot of vodka. The bartender tells him "You should come back here tomorrow we have a contest going on. Drink the most shots of vodka in 2 minutes and you win free shots for a year."

So the guy comes the next night and destroys the competition. Does 25 shots in two minut...

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

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