A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.
"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer b...

A crow got cut in half by a wind turbine.

ow

Crows aren’t so smart after all

The South Carolina Dept of Transportation found over 200 dead crows on highways recently, and there was a concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appear...

Do you know why you never see a crow dead in the road?

Because he has a buddy on the side yelling "KAAAA...KAAAA"

Why were the two crows arrested?

Attempted murder

Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?

Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.

Intelligent Crows

When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green ligh...

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.



What do you call a male human's response to this joke?

Man'slaughter.

I bought a scarecrow and even though it didn’t scare any crows , I still had to give it a great review on Amazon

Because it was just out standing

Crow joins two other feasting on a dead rat...

says - a murder, eh?!

What do you get when you combine a group of crows, a Hitman, and a chicken?

A murder most fowl.

What do you call it when a group of crows make plans to get together?

Premeditated murder

What did the crow say when his friend got run over by a hit and run driver?

Caw the Cawps!

Backstory - my daughter just woke up telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because...

The difference between a raven and a crow.

A raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers.

A crow has 16.

So, the difference between a raven and a crow is basically a matter of a pinion.

If a stork brings a white baby, and a crow brings a black baby; what brings no baby?

a swallow

Friendly Crow: How was your family reunion?

Antisocial Crow: It was murder...

A group of ravens organized the crows' monthly meeting.

I guess you could say there was a conspiracy to commit a murder.

Almost witnessed a murder today!!!

But there was only one crow

A man tried to gather 50 crows together but was arrested and convicted after only getting two.

He was charged with attempted murder.

Why do crows never check their bags at the airport?

They prefer carrion.

What does a chocolate crow say?

“CACAO!”

What do you call two crows being intimate on a tree?

Dichromate

A crow asks a lady to donate to it's charity

'Whats your charity called?' , asks the lady.

' CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! ' , said the crow,

' It's four good caws'

Whats a crows favorite drink?

Cawww-ffee

A new study has found that 98% of vehicular collisions with crows in Boston involve trucks and other large vehicles

Apparently they can all yell “cah, cah,” but not “bus, bus.”

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked the Redditor. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." answered the one known as Dan.

He continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."

What is it called when you bid on a bunch of crow eggs on Ebay?

Attempted murder.

A crow invited all his friends to come round to his house, but no-one showed up....

It was an attempted murder.

"There are three crows sitting on a branch,

you shoot one, how many are left?" The teacher asks little Jack.
"None Mrs. Parker, because the others would've flown away after hearing the gunshot."
"The correct answer is two little Jack, but I like the way you think."
"Well Mrs. parker, I have a question for you too. There are thr...

What do you call a murderer who killed a serial crow killer

a murdermurderermurderer

I called the police to report a murder in my front yard but they refused to respond

They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself

Why was the crow bitter about his job?

They fired him without caws!

what does a crow say when it sees a car coming?

car

My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.

Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"

He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."

If a group of crows is a murder...

...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

A flock of crows flew beak-first into window at horrifying speeds.

Experts suggest it was a murder suicide.

Why did the police investigate a box full of crows?

It was a murder case.

Why don't you ever see a crow roadkill

Because there is always another one in the tree yelling, "CAWR CAWR!"

Sometimes you eat a crow,

Some other times, Croatia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

if it's true that crows have the intelligence of a 7 year old human...

How come I've never seen a crow admitted to hospital for having a lego stuck up it's arse?

There was a study on Crows done in the UK....

As we all know, crows are very smart animals. They've learned that if they drop a nut into traffic, cars will run over it and break it open. This is usually performed by 2 crows; one to do the dropping and retrieving, and the second to signal no the first one when traffic is clear and it's safe to g...

What do you call a flock of crows eyeing a cake?

A tempted murder.

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

My friend hated crows so much that he wanted to kill them. One time, I caught him staring intensely at a group of crows...

You could see the murder in his eyes.

OP meets a talking crow

One day OP decides to get off reddit for a bit and go for a nice leisurely walk. After walking for a few hours he pauses at a park bench and sits down to collect his thoughts.

A crow lands on the bench beside him and takes him off guard by saying hello.

“Are... are you a talking crow?...

Crows

One day, about a year ago, 100 dead crows were found on the side of a motorway. Upon investigation, The crows were found to have been hit by vehicles, and were covered in specs of varying paint.

After further investigation it was also found that the paint on the crows had two different types...

Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies?

Swallows.

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, ”can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “sure, why not!” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.


A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


**Moral of the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a group of crows is called a murder, a group of geese is a gaggle, but do you know what a group of humans are?

Assholes. Just a bunch of assholes. Everyone of them.

In response to the TIL about the difference between a crow and raven

Do you know the difference between a crow and a raven? Well, the feathers that are the long vertical feathers on the wings are called pinion feathers. They help the birds fly. A crow has 13 of these feathers and raven only has 12. So I guess you could say that the difference between a crow and a rav...

Boston’s dead crows

On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the ...

How did the scare crow get employee of the month?

He was out standing in his field.

Some scientists were trying to figure out why crows were dying in Massachusetts

A team of scientists from MIT saw a statistic that said 80 percent of crow deaths in the state were because the crow had been hit by a truck. They decided to investigate why that was, and the results were pretty interesting. Crows often eat roadkill, so it wasn’t surprising that they were getting ki...

How do crows stick together in a flock?

Vel-crow

I nearly ran over a couple of crows with my car today.

It was almost a murder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a crow is in the woods...

Perched on top of a tree and is relaxing smoking weed. A lizard nearby smells it an looks up and sees this crow way up on the top of this tree. So the lizard asks "hey! Wanna share?"
"Sure I don't mind, come on up"replies the crow.
"Great but let me go get some water first, one sec." Said the...

I watched a crow land on the line out front today

it was joined by five more in a few minutes. They sat cawing softly a bit, then flew off different directions.

I think I just saw an attempted murder.

A herd of cattle... A murder of crows...

...a migraine of children...

Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution?

He committed a murder.

Two crows that are husband and wife are home when

The phone rings. Ethel answers, hello? Hey Ethel Bob home. Yeah hang on. Hey Bob! Yeah? Phone caw!

Did you hear about the attempted murder?

Russel Crowe, Sheryl Crow and John Crow were all in a room together.

Did you hear about the crows and the owls?

They're in caw-hoots.

Ravens and Crows

A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question.

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" ...

What do you call a bear covered in a bunch of crows?

A grizzly murder

Two scientists are studying a nest of newly-hatched crows..

The new parents are doing what they can, and the three chicks are noisy and demanding.

One day, the scientists notice that one of the chicks isn't making noise anymore. They see he's making the motions, but no sound is coming from his beak.

The scientists decide to do something to try ...

I was woken up at 5am by a crow...

It just wouldn't stop cawing. After an hour I felt like shooting the damned thing! Then another crow joined it and they started to have a jolly old conversation. I wanted to blow both their heads off! One more crow and there definitely would've been a murder.

If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?

It was a murder most foul.

Dead crows

There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.

This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a v...

So a crow sits alone in a park...

A single crow sits alone on one of the many benches in the park. Suddenly a second crow comes along and lands next to the one crow. The two crows exchange a mild conversation until they spot a third crow flying overhead. Suddenly they begin to yell at the other crow until it too lands on the bench, ...

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