What did the crow say when his friend got run over by a hit and run driver?

Caw the Cawps!

Backstory - my daughter just woke up telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because...

Crows aren’t so smart after all

The South Carolina Dept of Transportation found over 200 dead crows on highways recently, and there was a concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appear...

What does a chocolate crow say?

“CACAO!”

If a group of crows is called a murder...

is a group of traps called an ambush?

A teacher asks her class “If there’s 14 crows sitting on a fence, and you shoot 2 off, how many crows are left on the fence?”

One little boy says, “None, the sound of the shotgun scared them all away.” The teacher says, “Thats not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you’re thinking!” The little boy then says “I have a question for you. There’s 3 women eating Ice cream cones. 1 Woman is licking, another woman i...

A man tried to gather 50 crows together but was arrested and convicted after only getting two.

He was charged with attempted murder.

A group of ravens organized the crows' monthly meeting.

I guess you could say there was a conspiracy to commit a murder.

If a stork brings a white baby, and a crow brings a black baby; what brings no baby?

a swallow

I tried talking to my friend who is a crow

He said he was busy and he’d give me a caw

Almost witnessed a murder today!!!

But there was only one crow

A new study has found that 98% of vehicular collisions with crows in Boston involve trucks and other large vehicles

Apparently they can all yell “cah, cah,” but not “bus, bus.”

The difference between a raven and a crow.

A raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers.

A crow has 16.

So, the difference between a raven and a crow is basically a matter of a pinion.

What do you call two crows being intimate on a tree?

Dichromate

Why do crows never check their bags at the airport?

They prefer carrion.

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked the Redditor. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." answered the one known as Dan.

He continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."

What is it called when you bid on a bunch of crow eggs on Ebay?

Attempted murder.

A crow asks a lady to donate to it's charity

'Whats your charity called?' , asks the lady.

' CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! ' , said the crow,

' It's four good caws'

Whats a crows favorite drink?

Cawww-ffee

Why did the crow buy a gun ?

to aid a murder

A flock of crows flew beak-first into window at horrifying speeds.

Experts suggest it was a murder suicide.

A crow invited all his friends to come round to his house, but no-one showed up....

It was an attempted murder.

"There are three crows sitting on a branch,

you shoot one, how many are left?" The teacher asks little Jack.
"None Mrs. Parker, because the others would've flown away after hearing the gunshot."
"The correct answer is two little Jack, but I like the way you think."
"Well Mrs. parker, I have a question for you too. There are thr...

My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.

Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"

He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."

What do you call a murderer who killed a serial crow killer

a murdermurderermurderer

I called the police to report a murder in my front yard but they refused to respond

They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself

Why was the crow bitter about his job?

They fired him without caws!

If a group of crows is a murder...

...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

Why don't you ever see a crow roadkill

Because there is always another one in the tree yelling, "CAWR CAWR!"

Sometimes you eat a crow,

Some other times, Croatia

There was a study on Crows done in the UK....

As we all know, crows are very smart animals. They've learned that if they drop a nut into traffic, cars will run over it and break it open. This is usually performed by 2 crows; one to do the dropping and retrieving, and the second to signal no the first one when traffic is clear and it's safe to g...

what does a crow say when it sees a car coming?

car

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

if it's true that crows have the intelligence of a 7 year old human...

How come I've never seen a crow admitted to hospital for having a lego stuck up it's arse?

OP meets a talking crow

One day OP decides to get off reddit for a bit and go for a nice leisurely walk. After walking for a few hours he pauses at a park bench and sits down to collect his thoughts.

A crow lands on the bench beside him and takes him off guard by saying hello.

“Are... are you a talking crow?...

What do you call a flock of crows eyeing a cake?

A tempted murder.

My friend hated crows so much that he wanted to kill them. One time, I caught him staring intensely at a group of crows...

You could see the murder in his eyes.

Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies?

Swallows.

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

Crows

One day, about a year ago, 100 dead crows were found on the side of a motorway. Upon investigation, The crows were found to have been hit by vehicles, and were covered in specs of varying paint.

After further investigation it was also found that the paint on the crows had two different types...

In response to the TIL about the difference between a crow and raven

Do you know the difference between a crow and a raven? Well, the feathers that are the long vertical feathers on the wings are called pinion feathers. They help the birds fly. A crow has 13 of these feathers and raven only has 12. So I guess you could say that the difference between a crow and a rav...

What do you call 2 Crows sat on a branch?

attempted murder.

Boston’s dead crows

On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the ...

How did the scare crow get employee of the month?

He was out standing in his field.

Some scientists were trying to figure out why crows were dying in Massachusetts

A team of scientists from MIT saw a statistic that said 80 percent of crow deaths in the state were because the crow had been hit by a truck. They decided to investigate why that was, and the results were pretty interesting. Crows often eat roadkill, so it wasn’t surprising that they were getting ki...

How do crows stick together in a flock?

Vel-crow

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, ”can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “sure, why not!” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.


A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


**Moral of the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a group of crows is called a murder, a group of geese is a gaggle, but do you know what a group of humans are?

Assholes. Just a bunch of assholes. Everyone of them.

I nearly ran over a couple of crows with my car today.

It was almost a murder.

I watched a crow land on the line out front today

it was joined by five more in a few minutes. They sat cawing softly a bit, then flew off different directions.

I think I just saw an attempted murder.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So a crow is in the woods...

Perched on top of a tree and is relaxing smoking weed. A lizard nearby smells it an looks up and sees this crow way up on the top of this tree. So the lizard asks "hey! Wanna share?"
"Sure I don't mind, come on up"replies the crow.
"Great but let me go get some water first, one sec." Said the...

A herd of cattle... A murder of crows...

...a migraine of children...

Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution?

He committed a murder.

Did you hear about the attempted murder?

Russel Crowe, Sheryl Crow and John Crow were all in a room together.

Did you hear about the crows and the owls?

They're in caw-hoots.

Two crows that are husband and wife are home when

The phone rings. Ethel answers, hello? Hey Ethel Bob home. Yeah hang on. Hey Bob! Yeah? Phone caw!

Ravens and Crows

A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question.

"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" ...

Two scientists are studying a nest of newly-hatched crows..

The new parents are doing what they can, and the three chicks are noisy and demanding.

One day, the scientists notice that one of the chicks isn't making noise anymore. They see he's making the motions, but no sound is coming from his beak.

The scientists decide to do something to try ...

What do you call a bear covered in a bunch of crows?

A grizzly murder

I was woken up at 5am by a crow...

It just wouldn't stop cawing. After an hour I felt like shooting the damned thing! Then another crow joined it and they started to have a jolly old conversation. I wanted to blow both their heads off! One more crow and there definitely would've been a murder.

Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?

It was a murder most foul.

Dead crows

There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.

This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a v...

If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

So a crow sits alone in a park...

A single crow sits alone on one of the many benches in the park. Suddenly a second crow comes along and lands next to the one crow. The two crows exchange a mild conversation until they spot a third crow flying overhead. Suddenly they begin to yell at the other crow until it too lands on the bench, ...

How come crows never get hit by cars?

Their buddies are up in the trees yelling caaaawr caaawr caaawr.

I saw a murder today

It was awesome. There must've been 50 crows in it.

Professors at a university stumbled upon a pile of dead crows.

Upon taking them in for examination, they noticed that most had faint paint stains on their bodies. It was determined 98% of the murder of crows were hit by trucks and 2% by cars as the cause of death.

Why were there so many hit by trucks rather than cars?

The lookout crow could call ...

A group of crows framed my best friend for a crime he didn't commit

I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!