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A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.
"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer b...

If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

Russell Crowe & Sheryl Crow walk into a bar…

The bartender calls 911, "I need to report an attempted murder!"

I tried to start farming crows, until I was arrested.

They charged me with attempted murder.

Me: A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie

Friend: Gladiator?

Me: No I really miss her.

How do the crows in Texas greet each other?

Yee-caw

Crows...

The RCMP found over 2000 dead crows on Alberta hwys recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impact...

A crow was caught recently breaking quarantine laws.

They charged him with attempted murder.

Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?

Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.

"There are three crows sitting on a branch,

you shoot one, how many are left?" The teacher asks little Jack.
"None Mrs. Parker, because the others would've flown away after hearing the gunshot."
"The correct answer is two little Jack, but I like the way you think."
"Well Mrs. parker, I have a question for you too. There are thr...

Why did the cop arrest the lonely crow?

He had him on probable caws for an attempted murder.

What do you call a bunch of crows that just earned a BS in Biology?

First Degree Pre-med Murder.


Sorry in advance. I'm in the middle of studying criminal law for the bar and know this is super dumb.

A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a murder. What is a group of Karen's?

A Home Owners Association.

What did the man say after getting attacked by crows?

I just got murdered.

MY crow

i own a pet crow . Have you seen my crow ? i bet you didn't cause its micro

Did you hear about the crow that was organising a party for all his crow friends?

He was arrested for attempted murder

Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies?

Swallows.

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

Why can't crows star in a sitcom?

Everytime more than one is on set it turns into a 'murder' mystery.

Where do crows go to get drunk?

A crow bar.

What's the difference between a crow and a raven?

All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.

Saw a bunch of dead crows in the woods the other day.

Must have been a murder suicide.

Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left?

" One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is licking, 1 is sucking, 1 is biting. Which on...

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, ”can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “sure, why not!” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.


A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


**Moral of the...

A man was arrested for trying to attract crows to his garden.

He was convicted of attempted murder.

If a stork brings a white baby and a crow brings a black baby; what bird brings no baby?

a swallow

Crows v. Ravens

A bird watcher walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've always wondered, what's the difference between a crow and a raven?" the bartender asks. "Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3," the bird wat...

why did the crow land on the telephone pole?

He wanted to make a long distance caw

A guy walks into a crow bar

It's a murder scene

what do you call a group of crows who do something out of curiosity?

A tempted murder

A crow flies to a woman on the street

Crow: Miss, would you donate to my charity?

Woman: Why should I?

Crow: CAW CAW CAW CAW

Woman: What does that even mean?

Crow: Its four good caws

The difference between ravens and crows

Today I learned there are very few differences between ravens and crows. But one key difference is they have a different amount of tail feathers, so really, the difference is a matter of a pinion.



posted on behalf of my SO

Crows

One day, about a year ago, 100 dead crows were found on the side of a motorway. Upon investigation, The crows were found to have been hit by vehicles, and were covered in specs of varying paint.

After further investigation it was also found that the paint on the crows had two different types...

A crow was arrested during lockdown for trying to organise a get together with many other fellow crows.

The police said he was arrested for attempted murder.

What is one crow sitting next to another crow?

Attempted murder.

Crows

Before they invented Crowbars, crows had to drink alone. :(

Recently found out all the crows in our neighbourhood had killed them selves

Looks like it was a murder suicide pact

Murder of crows

Question...If a group of crows is called a murder, and a group is three or more, is two crows together considered an attempted murder? Also, as I’ve been told, crows are very intelligent, my so would a planned gathering of crows be considered a pre-meditated murder?

What did the crow say when he was being swallowed by an snake?

"KAA, KAA!"

Two crows were fighting and another crow came and broke it up.

"Stop carrion on like that," the third crow said.

Where do the Asian crows live?

In Croatia.

When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...

That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.

What is a female crow's favorite car?

A Corvette!

How did I know the crow got sick?

He had a really bad ca-cough.

Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?

So he could get crow cane from his vet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Protesting Crows

A crow march was organized online - smart little buggers. Only two showed up. Thousands bought tickets on TikToc... The two crows were arrested. When asked why they didn't wear masks they said they were not afraid of Corvid-19. They were charged with attempted murder.

OP meets a talking crow

One day OP decides to get off reddit for a bit and go for a nice leisurely walk. After walking for a few hours he pauses at a park bench and sits down to collect his thoughts.

A crow lands on the bench beside him and takes him off guard by saying hello.

“Are... are you a talking crow?...

Crows

There once was a crow who was not like the others. He always was on the telephone line, and never went down on the road to eat roadkill like the other crows. He also warned the ither crows of oncoming cars. One day a bus hit all the crows because all the other crow knew was "caw, caw"

I whisper my sins to crows

So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder

what does a crow say when it sees a car coming?

car

I witnessed an actual murder in real life and didn't tell anyone about it.

Crows are common in my area so it wasn't a big deal.

TSA stopped me while I was boarding my flight and said “Sir, you can’t bring that crow onto the aircraft.”

I said “Don’t worry. It’s a carrion.”

A crow was found dead by other crows and they began to search for the cause.

A murder investigation.

What prompts most crows to commit homicide?

Caws and effect

Why are flights with crows often delayed?

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

What did one crow say to the other after the party?

We were raven.

Little Johnny strikes again



### Teacher: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?

### Little Johnny: None.

### Teacher: Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?

### Little Johnny: None!

### Teacher: Can you explain...

In a society of crows,

All unsolved crimes are murder mysteries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russell Crowe never regrets cunnilingus

He'll always be Gladiator.

Sometimes you eat a crow,

Some other times, Croatia

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their...

Why was the caffeine addicted crow agitated?

Because of the caw fee.

Intelligent Crows

When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green ligh...

It's COVID-19, not CORVID-19. A corvid is of the crow family. 19 crows are not gathering to kill you...

But if they are... its a murder.

A crow was arrested today under suspicion of being involved in a murder

The judge threw the case out. He said he had just caws.

I would rather breed mice than crows

Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.

A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.

However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.

My friend hated crows so much that he wanted to kill them. One time, I caught him staring intensely at a group of crows...

You could see the murder in his eyes.

Why do crows never check their bags at the airport?

They prefer carrion.

A crow asks a lady to donate to it's charity

'Whats your charity called?' , asks the lady.

' CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! ' , said the crow,

' It's four good caws'

Whats a crows favorite drink?

Cawww-ffee

Crows are super smart

There was a study conducted on crows using cars to crack open nuts. They'd place the nut on the road during a red light, let the cars run over the nuts, and then retrieve them during the next red light.

The study also found a second interesting discovery, there were a large number of crows ...

How long does it take for a crow to eat a dead squirrel on the road?

It depends on the traffic


(English is not my first language so sorry for any mistake)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a crow is in the woods...

Perched on top of a tree and is relaxing smoking weed. A lizard nearby smells it an looks up and sees this crow way up on the top of this tree. So the lizard asks "hey! Wanna share?"
"Sure I don't mind, come on up"replies the crow.
"Great but let me go get some water first, one sec." Said the...

I lost half of my pet crow

Ow

Crows

Recently biologists have noted that more crows have been getting killed by vehicles on major trucking highways than on normal roads. After tire print and impact analysis, they determined that these crows are being killed by large trucks, not cars. One especially bright scientist came up with a hypot...

Why was the crow bitter about his job?

They fired him without caws!

How come crows never get hit by cars?

Their friends are all up on the power lines yelling "caw caw!"

Dead crows

There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.

This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a v...

A crow sits on a telephone pole, doing nothing - looking stupid

A crow is sitting on a telephone pole when his mate, another crow arrives.

Crow#2 asks his friend: "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

Crow#1: "Nothing really, just sitting here and looking stupid"

Crow#2: "Sounds cool, I wanna try that, too!"

An hour later a 3rd crow arrive...

Police have begun training Crows to search vehicles.

It's easier to search without a warrant because Police Crows always have Just Cawws.

Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...

they've been found to copulate with corpses.

NeCROWphilia.

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.



What do you call a male human's response to this joke?

Man'slaughter.

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