My wife's obsession with 69ing is costing me a fortune

Really wish she wouldn't touch the thermostat.

Just A Man Shopping With His Wife

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

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TIL Vietnam’s national currency is the Dong.

I mean I’ve heard of shit costing an arm and a leg but that just seems cruel.

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BBC News: "Illegally downloading pirated films is costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year"

Fuck, what site are they downloading them from? It's free for me..

A hip young man goes out and buys a 2001 Ferrari 360 Spider. It is the best convertible sports car, costing about $250,000.

He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped, wearing an open face crash helmet (looking about 70 years old) pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny red surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The youn...

Two pilots are landing an airplane

They don’t land quickly enough, and overshoot the runway. Destroying the lights, the fences, costing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage.

The pilot turns to the copilot and says “boy, that sure was a short runway”

The copilot looks back at him and says “but it was *wide* ...

My baby is costing a fortune in import costs.

It only drinks milk that comes from a broad.

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus

The bartender, upon seeing the octopus, says "hey hey hey I run a respectable establishment here, no cephalopods allowed!"

The owner of the octopus says "no, wait, this is the most amazing octopus in the world, it can play any musical instrument known to man."

As fate would have it, th...

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