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Congratulating Jokes

A man was congratulating his son and daughter

“Hey Dad! I did it! I was just promoted!”

“Congratulations son! I knew you could do it! You’re so smart and you worked so hard!”



“Hey Dad, I also just got promoted!”

“Congratulations daughter, I knew you could do it! You’re so beautiful!”

“I…what…? But I…worked h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When my wife was pregnant, everybody caressed her belly, congratulating her.

But nobody fondled my balls and said: "good job!"

People keep congratulating me on my wife getting pregnant again...

Now only if I could find the guy that did it.

A friend sent me a card congratulating me for doing Veganuary.

Thanks, tastiest thing I've eaten so far.

Three new fathers, an Englishman, a Welshman and an Indian are looking at their newborn babies cribs in hospital.

All three babies are side by side and the fathers are congratulating each other on their new arrivals.

Just then, a nurse enters the room, looking quite flustered.
"I'm sorry" says the nurse " but we've lost the paperwork, and can't tell you whose baby is whose!"

The three fathers l...

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